WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

Col awakes in his rented room alone, mouth parched but otherwise feeling okay after a night of drinking with lizard-folk. The rest of the crew however... it's a mess. Arnie is splayed out face down on the dance floor. A frazzled Peach emerges mostly-naked from Krenko's barrel, Krenko still dead to the world within. Bertram finds himself using the musical equipment on stage as a pillow.

 

It's a rough morning. Everything is too bright, too loud, and filled with ogre-sized pounding in the skull. Crumbeard offers sinda, a hot black drink made out of Chultan beans of the same name, guaranteed to wake one up in the morning. Arnie moans and takes up the burly dwarf's offer of a hangover cure called a "Bloody Jerry" as well. 'Hair of the dog', as they say. The taverns door suddenly bursts open and the morning light silhouettes two figures in the doorway.

​

"WHAT HO, OLD CHAPS!", shouts the cheery half-orc as his ape companion waves.

​

(After a short hiatus, Winchton Carmichael and Lovely the orangutan return to the party! Hooray!)

​

Most groan at the explosion of light and noise, but Winchton - wearing one of Arnie's floral print shirts - is a welcome sight. Fully rested and more than eager to venture into the unknown, the half-orc ranger is back just in time to make the Handy Hands complete. Recent times are caught up on as Krenko searches for his loincloth, found located in Peach's hair. A flying monkey messenger flits through an open window and lands on the bar, it's leather message tube containing a note from Jobal's assistant Aazon (Winchton: "A-Azon?") along with a heap of certified jungle guide flyers. That's right! The planned morning interviews to pick out a guide for the trek to Camp Vengeance! This will be rough in such a sorry hungover state for most, but it needs to be done. The flyers are reviewed as the crew grab a bite then head out the door into the morning rain.

​

Debating the pros and cons of various guide options as they walk, the companions stop by a market to sell a few wares where Arnie is approached by a familiar tabaxi with an eyepatch. River Mist. To the handyman's surprise River hands him one additional jungle guide flyer: for herself and her brother Flask of Wine. The tabaxi isn't too trusting of Jobal and his official guides, letting Arnie know that she and her brother are always available if the other options don't pan out. Duly noted, and the Handy Hands head up the hill to Port Nyanzaru's seat of government.

​

Goldenthrone is the usual morning bustle of bureaucrats as a familiar line of merchants and commoners await to petition the day's current Merchant Prince on duty - Kwayothé. The young Prince looks less than pleased to see the goblin champion of Siya Kikombe on this morning, but at least does not recognize Peach for her thievery. Aazon welcomes the crew, leading them to a private chamber as Lovely and Arnie's dogs follow. Before proceeding with interviews, the crew takes stock of options:
 

• Azaka. A jungle native, seems very competent. Definitely worth the interview.

• Hew. A dwarf from the Sword Coast. Knowledgeable, seems fierce. Maybe.

• Eeyal. A tortle. Seems safe and reliable... but slow. So slow. Probably not.

• Musharib. Another dwarf, but an albino local. Arnie is instantly on guard and concerned.

• Eku. Another local woman. A do-gooder, it sounds like. Arnie's concern changes to interest.

• Faroul and Gondolo. Haven't we met these two before? They don't seem too competent.

• River Mist and Flask of Wine. Always a fallback option should one be needed.

​

A pitcher of beer is delivered at Krenko's request, the hungover companions ready themselves at the table, and it's time. Send in the first job candidate!

​

A tall and lithe Chultan woman enters with cat-like grace and assesses the room calculatingly. Azaka has a serious demeanor, and sells herself as a highly competent guide fully aware of the jungle's dangers. It is no time at all before the interview rapidly devolves. Col is earnestly curious about life in the jungle, but Arnie obsesses over cannibalism and bombards Azaka with questions about the tastiness of human flesh, Peach gets a bit ruthless in her newfound Human Resources role, and Bertram awkwardly asks to physically inspect the guide for signs of yuan-ti corruption. The guide obliges all as Winchton plays damage control, doing his best to moderate and temper his companions' more insane lines of questioning. Krenko sips beer and attempts to judge moral character. Azaka's offer of working for free should they help her with a personal quest is definitely intriguing. She's a professional, that one, and the gang find themselves impressed as they consider the next potential interviewee. Next!

​

A middle-aged woman with multi-colored feathers woven into her hair enters. Wearing robes and clacking a wooden staff carved in the likeness of a feathered serpent, Eku doesn't seem to fit the physical notion of a jungle guide, but her warm and open nature quickly grows on the Handy Hands. She doesn't come cheap, but she donates her wealth to the needy and volunteers at an orphanage in her downtime. She sounds well-traveled, at the very least. All that she asks in return is that her hiring party seek to do good in the world. To Arnie, she's an instant hit. An experienced guide who seeks to help others? Sold! Col's snake obsession and Bertram's worry of yuan-ti are put to ease after Eku explains that her staff is a depiction of an old god of good deeds. All in all, a positive impression is left.

 

Next! ...Wait. Is there even a need to continue? The tortle candidate seems far too slow. Faroul and Gondolo were fools in the dinosaur race. The two dwarves seem very driven, but perhaps they value their own needs over those that hire them, not to mention triggering Arnie's cannibal fears. With two fine guides interviewed already, how to decide? Peach speaks up: "Lightning Round!"

​

Azaka and Eku both return and are rapidly quizzed. After just about the worst series of Bad Boss questions ("Where do you see yourself in five years?", "Why should we hire you over the competition?"), a candidate is finally chosen: Eku! Azaka seems wonderful, but the appeal of a warm, generous, and knowledgeable guide strikes all the right chords for the Handy Hands. They discuss mission and supply logistics with Eku for a bit before she agrees to meet them tomorrow morning and finally depart Port Nyanzaru. The two tabaxi are still under consideration as nothing says only one guide may be hired, but for now, Eku is the one.

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Leaving Goldenthrone, Peach just can't help herself from messing with Kwayothé. Skirting around invisible between two attractive assistants to the Merchant Prince, she plants a snide note in Kwayothé's robes before thinking better of stealing another pouch of gold and slinking out the door. Hangovers clearing slightly, where to go? Ahh. Yes. The hand from the bag last night. Perhaps it was time to finally meet Wakanga in person and come to terms.

​

The Merchant Prince of Magic's villa was familiar enough, though a daytime approach was new. The crew is unexpectedly welcomed in by the guards to meet the gregarious dandy himself. Wakanga is all smiles with one woman under each arm, as he invites the Handy Hands into his private bath to talk business. No sooner have the two women left the chamber when the smiles and laughter stop. The Prince turns cool and calculating. Every politician has their act, it seems.

​

Wakanga restates his displeasure at being robbed, but admits his admiration for a crew that can get things done... a trait that he'd also like to exploit. The job is also restated: Find a dead wizard's construct that had been lost in the wilds, and the Handy Hands' name shall remain untarnished. The Living Pouch they may keep, as it could be very useful for communication. Seems fair, admits the crew. The Merchant Prince marks their map with the location of where the dead wizard's journal was found, which is conveniently not too far from their intended destination of Camp Vengeance. The warm bath itself catches Bertram's eye, the young historian noting that this large round bath doubles as a teleportation circle. Parting ways after a sealed deal, it was time to collect this shipment intended for Camp Vengeance.

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A lone half-orc woman in chainmail stands next to a large crate in the Harbor Ward, bearing the familiar expression of many from the Sword Coast when they first experience the sweltering Chultan climate. Undril Silvertusk - a cleric of the Order of the Gauntlet - has been aided this far by the Merchant Prince Jobal, but from here it's the duty of the Handy Hands to lead a convoy up the River Shoshenstar by canoe. It's a curious resupply, with only a single large crate and Undril herself, but the companions agree to help the half-orc cleric find lodging for the night and ready in the morning.

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Harbormaster Zindar spies the crew and flies over. The gold half-dragon offers more work to those seeking to aid the city and the Ytepka Society, but more of interest... what about that old pirate ship? The Larva wasn't exactly in great condition when boarded, and had been partially dismantled to search for contraband, but the bones of the vessel are repairable. Could be a fine and fast ship once again! It'd just take time and money. Two thousand gold to be exact. Two-thousand? Winchton balks. That's a lot even for his pedigree. The Handy Hands would love a ship, but they'll need to find their fortune in the wilds first. An agreement is made - Zindar will drydock the ship for a while, pending the adventuring crew's return. 

​

And with that, the companions lift Undril's crate and wander back to The Thundering Lizard. There's a lot to think about. One final evening in Port Nyanzaru, and that's it. Peach nervously fidgets with her Lantanese geetar and discovers a hidden whammy bar (and ability upgrade). The rest contemplate their immediate futures. No more safety of civilization. No more soft tavern beds. No more peaceful city streets. No more cumin-filled meals.

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The savage jungles of Chult are calling, and come tomorrow... the Handy Hands will answer.

​

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(Level 5 achieved! Fear not, our misfit companions venture into the wild with new strength and ability!)

​

As the crowd filters out from the annual Siya Kikombe gladiatorial event, Col returns from impossibly long bathroom and snack lines to find that he had missed an assassination attempt. No worries, assures Ekene-afa. An interrogation awaits.

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Winning bets are collected, Krenko is mobbed by newfound fans, and an intriguing pair of interactions occur. Pock-Marked Po - wielding a disarmingly dainty laced parasol - congratulates Krenko on a fight well done. "So many fighters took the fall, eh? Never let it be said that old Po doesn't honor a deal!" Po's slight smile turns to worry when Peach brings up the yuan-ti assassins... wasn't it Po's own ziggurat that had a bit of a snake-person problem in the lower levels? Before sauntering off, the Beggar Prince of Old City assures he knew nothing, and the placation eases the Handy Hands' doubts for now.

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No sooner had Po departed when Jobal's assistant Aazon slides in close. The Order of the Gauntlet's shipment is to arrive tomorrow... are the Handy Hands still interested in first dibs on escorting it upriver into the jungle? Yes indeed, they reply! Aazon is pleased to hear the deal is still on. After breakfast tomorrow, come to Goldenthrone. There, they can privately meet experienced jungle guides and hire one of their choosing. Excellent. For now, though, there's a small matter of an assassin.

​

The half-ogre trainer Fronk guards the door to the gladiator training gym, bloodied assassin tied to a chair within. Save for scales running down the neck and back the yuan-ti may as well be fully human. A furious Ekene-afa cleans blood off her fist. After calming the Merchant Prince, the crew steps outside to debate strategy.

​

Peach: "Okay. I think I got this. I can charm her. I'll be the Good Cop."

Arnie: "Wait, I wanna help! I'll be a Good Cop too!"

Peach: "Well that just doesn't work. 'Good Cop, Good Cop'? We need a Bad Cop."

Bertram: "I believe could be a Bad Cop?"

Krenko: (pulls out knives) "Stab Cop!"

Bertram: "So... 'Good Cop, Stab Cop?'"

Krenko: (grins)

Arnie: Don't forget that I'm helping!"

Peach: "Alright. 'Good Cop, Good Cop, Bad Cop, Stab Cop'. Are we all happy?"

Col: (unhinges jaw) "...Snake Cop."

​

Peach's charm person works like a, uh, charm, but it's never quite clear where the prisoner's truth ends and less-than-truths begin. They're confident that the stated motivation is true, at least: Kuri the painter was never the intended target... the Handy Hands were, in retribution for disrupting the yuan-ti ritual under Po's ziggurat. Between friendly questioning by Arnie and Peach, the pureblood reveals the source of her orders as notes from the south. But where exactly? She cannot say as she has not been there, or so she claims. The"Nightmare Speaker" gives the orders, named Fenthaza.

 

Claims of sleeper cells. Hidden couriers. A conspiracy. Snake-based terrorism. It doesn't help that the assassin has mind powers of her own, trying but thankfully failing to subvert both Arnie and Peach. 

​

But what zealotry is this? The prisoner smiles. She is just a Chultan ex-human who accepted the yuan-ti's vision. She mocks Col's snake form, saying that he is still human inside yet could be so much more, but the desert druid wisely doesn't take the bait. Bertram, unsatisfied, threatens with his blade. More details slip. Something about wiping clean to start again. A world-ending cult, it sounds like. When interrogated on city cell locations, she speaks of an Old City ziggurat. A frustrated Bertram demands to know how the yuan-ti, the undead, and the legend of Ras Nsi are connected, but the prisoner goes silent.

​

"Stab Cop.", says the young historian as he turns and walks away. A grinning goblin steps forward.

​

Krenko brutally flays away the scales at the back of the neck, the assassin grimacing in pain as she turns to whisper to the goblin. This time, the mind powers do not fail. "The only way to truly kill a serpent is to cut out it's heart." Krenko nods enthusiastically in agreement and the rest watch in horror as he rips open her chest.

​

"The Nightmare comes...", croaks the yuan-ti as life fades from her eyes.

​

It is only when her heart is thrown across the gym that Krenko snaps out of it, realizing just what he had done. Welp. So much for their only source of enemy information. Fronk assures that he's no stranger to cleaning blood out of a gym, he'll handle it from here. What was that about a hideout in an Old City ziggurat? How honest has Po been?

​

Pock-Marked Po relaxes in his kitchen brewing tea as the Handy Hands invite themselves in. Again the Beggar Prince assures that he has no hidden ties... well, with yuan-ti at least. They're even welcome to explore the lower chambers again! The sewer breach has been repaired, though Arnie convinces Po that perhaps an iron door installed from his Cloak of Many Things would be a nice addition. The spa room is considered for a moment, now thankfully bloodbath-free. Investigation complete, the companions agree that Po is likely being honest. The sewer system, though. Where did the yuan-ti escape to? Deciding against spending a couple hours on wall destruction and door installation, the crew head out the front door past a confused Po, left holding the tea that he brewed for them.

​

The sewers are familiar territory. While initially surprised, the resident kobolds are excited to once again see the tall ones who helped rid them of the snake-people menace. Their leader Sneep took Arnie's advice on the threatening nature of flowers, decorating their lair with a multitude of floral bouquets and even crafting himself new mechanical "wings" that splay out a dozen red roses. Doom and terror! They are even more amazed when Arnie introduces them to the wonders of full-length mirrors. Reflections! Double the doom and terror!

​

What Sneep is really curious about is what Krenko mentioned the previous visit. What is a "union"? It takes some time, but eventually the kobolds are sold on the concept of being acknowledged for the hard work they put in to sewer maintenance. The notion of interacting with the above-ground world frightens them, but perhaps a certain tea-loving Beggar Prince with vested interest in sanitation would be a sensible starting place?

​

The Handy Hands move on. The kobolds have had precisely zero yuan-ti engagements since the day after the typhoon, and a quick patrol of the sewer system confirms it. There's two other ziggurats in Old City, however. Perhaps worth checking out? The pyramids had long ago been converted into apartments, and our companions have little trouble exploring both. There's a whole lot of locals milling about their homes and lives, but nothing fishy is found. After a quick spelunking trip into a drainage pipe and Krenko getting weird with the locals by flashing a bloody symbol of Ras Nsi, Old City is deemed safe. The assassin led them astray. Maybe time wasted, but at least this part of town is seemingly free of lurking yuan-ti.

​

The sky slowly fades to red and the scorching heat finally relents. It's been a long and exhausting day, and Siya Kikombe is drawing to a close. Time to do what travelers, tourists, and heroic gladiators do best on a holiday: Get ripping drunk.

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*         *         *

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The ogre doorman of The Thundering Lizard feeds Esmerelda as they approach, Krenko rushing forward to give his dino buddy a hug. Quite the packed tavern on this festival night! Crumbeard chats a bit about how much longer our heroes plan on staying but is cut short by the cacophony of the band returning to stage. What IS that? Full blast polka? Yodeling?

​

The golden eyes of the normally stoic Bertram go wide. "THE SOUND OF MY HOMELAND!", shouts the historian, grinning ear to ear as he and Peach completely abandon the conversation to go tear up the dance floor. Arnie and Krenko head to the bar in search of the nearest tasty beverage, leaving Col alone with a miffed Crumbeard. "Uh. Please don't shed reptile skin in the rooms?", says the dwarf. "I don't shed.", deadpans the druid. Not knowing what to say, Crumbeard turns to accuse a table full of lizard-folk of shedding, while Col's mind explodes in discovery that lizard-people exist.

​

And so the party goes. The goblin gladiator buys rounds into the night, the yodeling never ceases, and that special state of 'Party Mind' kicks in where hours go by like minutes, lost to drunkenness and lively conversation. Peach, Arnie, and Krenko bond over their pasts, alcohol causes Bertram to just dance even more furiously to polka, and Col sits with the lizard-folk to learn their ways. After a while, even Krenko stationing himself on the dance floor inside of a beer keg seemed normal.

​

Until the hand emerged from Krenko's bandolier pouch. 

​

Like a creepy rabbit out of a hat it emerges, touching the goblin's face at first to verify it's location and retreating inside the bag before Peach can grab it. It emerges again, this time holding a note that it passes to a bewildered Krenko, wondering if this hand is real or a sign that he's had far too much to drink. The goblin, the eladrin, the handyman, and the historian, all in various states of inebriation, each attempt to make sense of the note before comprehension finally clicks.

​

Oh. Oh no. This "living pouch" that they stole from Wakanga's home? It's one of a linked pair. The Merchant Prince is keenly aware of who robbed his house and is now very weirdly passing passive-aggressive notes through it. 

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Creepy! But actually quite hysterical when drunk! It's all fun and games until another note comes through, making it clear that Wakanga plans to ruin the Handy Hands' reputation unless they undertake a task for him to set things right. Some laugh. But not Arnie. This is serious. Being a Handy Hand is his life! Reputation is what he prides himself on!

​

Meanwhile, Col converses with the lizard-folk and explains the entire concept of currency-based capitalism. As one does.

​

Another note relays the job. Wakanga has heard of a lost construct belonging to a long-dead wizard, and he'd like that construct found in the jungle and brought to him. Interesting. But feeling unable to make solid decisions in their current mental states, the crew writes back asking him to contact them later, with Krenko shoving a bottle of nice liquor into the pouch along with the note to placate the Prince. Minutes pass. Wakanga's hand re-emerges holding a tumbler of the liquor. Persuasion success! Everyone clinks their drinks with the creepy bag-hand, and the hand retreats for the evening...

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But the yodeling? The yodeling never ceases.

​

The handyman from Baldur's Gate walks the early morning beach walk to find a shaggy haired man sitting in Arnie's usual cabana chair, drinking a fruity beverage. 

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"Hey man. You're alright.", the person lazily smiles. "The Big Guy says you've been doing good. Keep being you, man."

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Confused, Arnie questions. "The Big Guy"? And who's this in his chair? Smiling, the man just extends his drink to Arnie, who takes it and instantly finds himself switching places, flipped and being served a drink by the familiar orange-furred face of Lovely the orangutan while being woken up by a wet tongue on his face. Oh. Yes. The dogs.

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"So as I was saying...", resumes Winchton as Arnie's dogs happily pant. "It turns out Lovely is a banger of a tailor! Perhaps he can stitch up a pair of floral shirts for your two new dogs to match?" Arnie raises an eyebrow as the ape pulls out a tape measure and starts sizing up one of the mastiffs. Hmm. Not a bad idea.

​

*         *         *

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Meanwhile, Bertram and Peach enjoy breakfast while listening to Krenko shout outside. The goblin has been up since the crack of dawn prepping for the big arena event today... mostly by drinking, stress vomiting, and practicing dialogue by yelling at Esmerelda the anklyosaurus. The morning picks up and the festivities unfold. Today is Siya Kikombe! Costumed bards and children emerge in the breaking sunlight, acting out parts of a famous myth and sipping on special blood-like drinks out of skull-shaped cups. Conversing with local residents garners some details.

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Siya Kikombe, or "Day of the Chalice", celebrates a legendary Chultan hero named Ch'gakare who confronted his evil king but was banished to the Nine Hells, only to gloriously ride the mastodon Ghom out of the Hells to victory, chopping off the king's head and making it in to a jeweled chalice. Every year, the legend is acted out by gladiators in the Grand Coliseum. A bit of existential terror creeps on to Krenko's face as he realizes he's to play the embodiment of a legend. He walks down the street to buy a bunch of alcoholic skull drinks, distributing half to his friends and chugging the rest.

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Everyone knows you should stock up and come prepared to a stadium event! Arnie, Peach, and Bertram load up on a large variety of vendor snacks to sneak in. Krenko slips a morsel of meat to his pouch that he stole from Wakanga's bedroom... a strange thing that seems partially animated and enjoys to be fed. Inspired by his new love of tropical drinks, Arnie straps a pair of fake skull mugs to the sides of his furry hat and rigs up some hollow kelp as straws, inventing Faerun's first Beer Hat. 

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Taking the city's previously-unexplored water transit system up to the hilltop (Did the pipes just talk to us? Weird.), the Grand Coliseum is quite the scene of celebration. Krenko is wished well by the rest and he works his way down to the "employee" entrance under the statue of Ekene-afa. The others rush to the betting booth and eagerly put money down on the big fight when the legend herself, the Merchant Prince Ekene-afa, greets them and directs the crew to her private box seats.

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In the bowels of the Grand Coliseum the nervous Krenko is greeted by the half-ogre trainer Fronk and a multitude of fighters both familiar and new, all prepping for the epic story. Bone Lord the bugbear is there, annoying as ever. The lanky elf Timmirith (or "Timmy") eagerly greets her coworker Krenko, as does the massive portly goliath Andermon. One wouldn't think the huge gladiator to be the type, but Andermon intuitively notes his goblin buddy's anxiety and chats him up like a therapist. Ekene-afa swings down to aid in bolstering Krenko's spirits until he is fired up and ready, but warns that a goblin in a traditionally Chultan human role may be a hard sell to some. No worries, thinks Krenko. Ch'gakare shall ride to victory!

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Bertram, Peach, and Arnie take their place in Ekene-afa's box seats and meet her artist husband Kuri. The Merchant Prince returns, the drums and horns erupt into fanfare, and the event is on! The Master of Ceremonies welcomes all to this year's Siya Kikombe celebration and thousands of skull cups are held up in the air. The VIPs in the various box seats are greeted: Ekene-afa and her guests, Jobal, Mother Sibonseni, Ifan, and Kwayothé - another Merchant Prince the crew had not yet seen in public. The MC shouts the story of Ch'gakare and Ghom once more, and we are to join them mid-journey through the Nine Hells. The central gate creaks open as the crowd roars. Who's ready for a spectacle?!

​

Krenko steps out into the arena floor alone, wearing a loincloth, leaf mantle, and wielding nothing but a spear-like ykwla. The crowd roar dims to an awkward silence. Murmers are heard. A non-Chultan? But "Ch'gakare" is a sacred role, and has always been a Chultan human! The MC announces the arrival of the great mastodon Ghom from another gate as a dog wearing a fake trunk emerges, the MC thanking Kwayothé for donating such a fine "steed". The occasional boos turn to laughter.

 

"Oh no...", Peach whispers. "They're gonna humiliate him!"

​

Krenko feels the shame creep in, bowing his head as rotten fruit lands nearby. And then he hears it. "tok-tok... tok-tok... tok-tok..." In the seats near the arena edge, a familiar young girl chants. The street urchin he saved in Malar's Throat! She and her friends, all body-painted and dressed as Krenko, pick up the chant the goblin's stage name. "Tok-Tok! Tok-Tok!" The goblin fixes his jaw, determined to see this through. He mounts the canine "Ghom" and raises his ykwla...

 

It's time to entertain the masses.

​

A flurry of dancers emerge from all sides dressed as colorful devils. Streamers twirl as they spin, drummers and singers belting out an overture for the hero. The dancers fall back and a mass of crouched gladiators costumed as lemures surges forward. "Ch'gakare" whirls and spins and the lemures are rapidly slaughtered, acting as if they were hit by far greater might than they were. The gladiators are in their element - brutal entertainment - and do all they can to telegraph their moves and react to Krenko's actions. The chant is picked up by more as "Ch'gakare" motions to the crowd. "Tok-Tok! Tok-Tok!"

​

Four gladiators dressed as bearded devils wade through the retreating lemures. Devil-Andermon points his spear at hero-Krenko and bellows a theatrical challenge. "Ch'gakare" jumps off "Ghom", points and screams while throwing his ykwla to the ground, charging at the devils. The devils grin and follow suit. A wrestling match it is!

​

Meanwhile in the box seats, food and drink are continually served by event staff while The Handy Hands, Ekene-afa, and her husband Kuri watch. Angered by Kwayothé's humiliation of her friend, Peach casts invisibility and leaves to explore the other Merchant Prince's private box. The eladrin bard is easily able to sneak pass her guards. Nothing incriminating is found but she is able to lift a considerably fat coin pouch off the distracted Kwayothé before leaving. 200 gold? Worth it.

​

Kuri spits up a bit of blood and looks at his wine glass confused. Bertram hardly has time to notice before a blade pierces his back, poisoned tip wracking his nerves. Assassins! He catches the slit-shaped pupils of one of the event staff. Snake eyes. Yuan-ti! The drink server launches herself at Arnie with blade in hand, slicing deep but poison resisted. Arnie's two mastiffs lash out to protect their master but the assassin's blade cuts one of them down. Peach returns to find Ekene-afa's box seat in chaos, immediately leaping to Bertram's aid as Arnie rushes to stabilize and heal his dog companion.

​

On the arena floor the battle is glorious! "Ch'gakare" bounces between the four "bearded devils", each actor trusting the other's knowledge of stage combat to put on one heck of a show. Mallet fist swings, body slams, artful stumbles and exaggerated pratfalls galore. At one point devil-Andermon leans in and whispers to Krenko: "Po never forgets a deal!" before the goliath feigns taking a mighty hit and reeling back. That's right! The deal with Pock-Marked Po to rig a fight! The goblin grins knowing that he will be just fine, but it utterly lost in the action and doesn't notice that one of the private box seats has a lot more going on inside than spectating. What's going on up there?

​

In a defensive rage Arnie burns inflict wounds into his assailant's chest while Bertram and Peach corner the other assassin. The latter makes a run for it directly out the front of the private box and into the crowd, unaware that devil-Timmy had just launched "Ch'gakare" far into the air by request. Krenko descends from the sky with recovered ykwla in hand, skewering the yuan-ti assassin in plain view of thousands. The crowd gasps.

​

A hushed moment passes. The gladiators look up in confusion. A spectator shouts - "Ch'gakare has found a hidden devil! GO CH'GAKARE!". The crowd explodes. "TOK-TOK! TOK-TOK! TOK-TOK!"

​

The other yuan-ti flees, scaled neck revealed underneath her hair, but Peach sprints afterwards with a well-timed sleep to take the assassin captive. As coliseum medical assistance rush in to help a poisoned Bertram and Kuri, Krenko jumps back into the arena floor. Crisis averted, but the show must go on!

​

Andermon, Timmy, and the other two bearded devils quickly feign defeat and retreat from Ch'gakare, signaling the next round of the event. Arena mages blast the area with ice patches. Five gladiators dressed as ice devils slash at Krenko with spears but quickly go down as the frothing crowd's reactions demand more and more carnage at the hands of their hero. Bone Lord fights dirty as "Ice Devil #1", but the goblin takes the hits and pummels the obnoxious bugbear into the ground.

​

The dancers and singers surge forth again. It's time for the final fight. The mages create plumes of flame across the arena floor and a hulking gladiator costumed as a pit fiend taunts Ch'gakare while the sniveling Evil King himself cowers behind. The fight is short as Krenko leaps on to the back of the pit fiend and tumbles him to the ground, then slashes his ykwla out at the Evil King. The Evil King is "decapitated", ducking his head under his robes and rolling out a fake head to the goblin's feet. Ch'gakare - the goblin barbarian hero of Chult - slices off the top of the fake skull to drink the beverage within. 

 

Thousands of skull cups raise skyward. The crowd goes wild.

​

"TOK-TOK! TOK-TOK! TOK-TOK! SIYA KIKOMBE!!!"

​

It was a calm but lively evening in the Thundering Lizard. The dragonborn band in the funny hats and vests strum the music of their homeland as Arnie, Col, Krenko, and Bertram catch up on all they've individually been up to lately, and ponder whether or not goblins are able to consume household cleaners and rubbing alcohol for enjoyment. All was normal.

 

Except for the rotund man who stumbled in, arm wrapped around a skinny red-haired elf with a long beard. That's different.

​

It's Volothamp "Volo" Geddarm! Famous author! Notorious socializer! And apparently the one person Crumbeard deems as too much of a troublemaker for his establishment! His elf friend? All but Arnie notice - it's Peach! But why the fake beard?

​

The friendly but drunk and obnoxious Volo wishes to go out for a fancy dinner at Kaya's House of Repose with his new elven friend "Pete", but "Pete", stuck in an awkward social obligation, hopes to recruit a few friends to make it less awkward. With Volo's promise that dinner is on his tab, it's off to experience high society! Peach tries to whisper an explanation on the way: She tried to ditch Volo earlier but felt bad. Despite his overly grabby nature and personal space cluelessness, she returned with a beard to raise the spirits of the drunkard. Don't worry, he's not a sexual predator. We think.

​

Kaya's House of Repose is quite the classy venue. Smooth music plays in the dark wood interior as staff serve a veritable whose-who of upscale guests. Volo "charms" his way around the room as his new friends sit, disrupting no less then three other tables and causing a pair of dining Merchant Princes to pretend the author doesn't exist. With Volo footing the bill the crew orders all of their hearts' desires. A seafood platter for Bertram, surf n' turf for Arnie, only the most raw of meats for Col and Krenko. And, uh, a salad for Peach. Arnie indulges in amazing cocktail creations from the tiki bar while Krenko receives a bottle of the finest spirits on hand. Expensive wines circle the table for the next two hours, all the while Volo occasionally leaving to harass another table or stumble down a random hallway. The house band is tipped by Krenko to play something more lively, which changes the music from smooth jazz to even smoother jazz. 

​

The bill arrives. Food, drink, and a few "courtesy charges" for guest disruption ends in an amount that would make all but the most wealthy of adventurer's heads explode. And Volo is nowhere to be seen. Bertram rolls his eyes. Of course... ghosted, he thinks. He talks Krenko down from publicly murdering the maître d' while Col hilariously looks for a dropped fork then wildshapes into a snake under the table and casually slithers out the front door. Arnie obliviously sips a cocktail served in a monkey's skull while Peach rises and whirls around her brand-new Lantanese tech-infused "geetar". 

​

The maître d' and his two minotaur guards quickly change tone. Fully charmed by the eladrin bard, they even politely escort the companions out the front door. Surely Volo would return and pay the bill, right? The crew, giddy after a dine n' dash reunion, wander down to the Harbor Ward to catch up with each other while sharing a bottle of booze that Krenko stole.

 

Hours pass as they chat under the moonlight. They share mutual interest in returning to the jungles, but this time with skill and preparation. Peach commits to aiding the Handy Hands long-term though once again notes that her traveling companions tend to die grisly deaths. There's also a strange matter of time: she spent a full year back at home, while here in Chult it was only a few weeks. The Feywild, man, don't try to make sense of it.

​

All is peaceful in the wee morning hours. Until the first body thrown from the lighthouse hits the cobblestones.

​

"Snuff it out!", comes the shout from above. The lighthouse goes dark. Another passing late night party squints and points in the distance... isn't that an approaching ship that is now without guidance? The Handy Hands snap into action! Bertram casts light on the goblin then heaves Krenko into the air, flapping his wooden wings and activating his Vest of Levitation. Peach goes invisible. Arnie drunkenly sprints towards the lighthouse, tripping himself as he goes. Another unfortunate lighthouse worker falls from above, then another, then another. We must get there soon!

​

Peach and Col enter old city fort. Pirates! The druid and bard make quick work of the two sentries, Bertram and Arnie arriving to aid with the final blows. With shouting above, they sprint up the spiraling lighthouse stairs.

​

Meanwhile, a levitating glowing goblin with flapping wooden wings slowly floats his way upwards. 50 feet. 100 feet. At first the pirates up top panic at the sight of a small angel shouting threats as it flies up, but the casual levitation speed makes the overall effect less "divine retribution" and more "lost parade float". This only incenses Krenko, who bumps into the wall 150 feet in the air and throws himself at the squad of five pirates holding workers hostage. Rage!

​

The pirates dogpile Krenko, their female half-orc leader shouting commands once the rest of the Handy Hands emerge from the stairwell. Col and Peach show off their physical prowess, tag-teaming with Krenko to bring down one of the stronger pirates. With the approaching ship on his mind Bertram casts prestidigitation on the beacon pyre as soon as he summits, nearly blinding everyone within the room as it reflects off polished sheets of metal. The half-orc leader grumbles, grabs a hostage by the waist... and jumps out of the lighthouse.

​

The Handy Hands gasp as each remaining pirate does the same, leaping off in a bizarre murder-suicide. The desert druid rushes forward and looks down to see a small pirate ship directly below the northern side of the lighthouse with its sail pulled out to catch the jumpers, catching those falling from above. And jumps himself.

​

Krenko and Peach follow, immediately re-engaging the pirates as they tumble onto the ship's deck with Col. Bertram leaps off the edge just as the two pirates holding the sail shift it back to where it regularly resides, thinks quick and misty steps mid-air to land in the mast's crows nest. A puffing Arnie finally makes it upstairs and follows, only realizing a moment too late that he's free falling into nothing. The handyman cleric barely manages to clip the sail, unceremoniously flopping to the deck unharmed, ripping another patch off his Cloak of Many Things in the process: *poof* - two mastiffs appear!

​

The deck battle rages as the ship's navigator steers everyone out to sea in the breaking dawn light. Bertram snipes from above as Col and Peach take on the half-orc captain face-to-face. Arnie has terrible luck assisting with spells, but at least his brand new dogfriends bring down another pirate. Krenko disengages and rushes to kill the navigator, taking the wheel, but the ship is a beast to steer as it awkwardly careens north through the Bay of Chult while Peach casts sleep to prevent any deckhands from interfering. 

 

The kidnappers drop one by one. Eventually the combined efforts of Col and Bertram bring down the leader, an eldritch blast separating her head from her body. As the remaining pirates are dealt with the morning's waters unexpectedly swell and tear asunder. The ship is sucked in as Krenko feebly fights the buckling sea, where the inconceivable happens.

 

A palm tree emerges. Then two more. The domed island that surfaces is oddly familiar, and the sight of a broken masthead lodged into the island's base confirms it. The tentacled woman of The Marid's Whim, also known as The Bitch Queen. This is no island. We've been here before and had no idea. Steam blasts as a gargantuan head emerges over the side of the ship.

​

The massive dragon turtle stares down the ship's occupants, slowly spinning around them as a swirl of shark fins arrive to join the scene. After a tense delay it opens its mouth and grumbles a single word in Draconic: "GOLD.".

​

Bertram, luckily fluent in Draconic, rapidly climbs down from the crows nest and parlays. "Oh, wise and great dragon turtle, what may we humble and puny mortals do to earn your magnificent favor?". The others nod. A wise approach, especially considering that the ship was now spinning along with the vortex, trapped in this clever old creature's shakedown scam.

​

"GOLD. THROW IT OVER.", it rumbles. Col and Peach search below deck and find what they can, throwing it overboard along with personal gold from the others. The young historian is able to get some details in small talk - the turtle is Aremag, and Aremag has been the scourge of these waters for over a century. Appeased with the bounty of its robbery, the huge creature submerges without a further word. The sharks disperse, and the ship slowly stops spinning.

​

A familiar wake of ocean spray signals the arrival of Zindar the Harbormaster. Landing on the deck he congratulates the Handy Hands on their deeds well done and lives saved, assuring that they did the right thing in dealing with Aremag. The now-captive remaining pirates confirm that their plan was to crash wayward ships then rob them. Their leader, the slain half-orc Captain Bregga, was leading a splinter faction from a pirate lord named Captain Laskilar who usually works these waters.

​

Upon return to the city Zindar awards each with 40 gold each. Not bad. A net gain after what they threw overboard, at least. A ship though, what a prize that would be! It needs to be confiscated by the city and given due process, Zindar says... but where it ends up afterwards, believe it or not the Harbormaster has a lot of say in such a matter. It's a piece of junk, but who knows, maybe a life at sea awaits The Handy Hands?

​

Those dogs, though. Arnie had been watching the two mastiffs. Surely they'd disappear at any moment. Five minutes went by. Then ten. Then an hour. The dogs remain, looking up expectantly at Arnie. I'm not ready to be a dog father!, thinks the handyman cleric. But, just as a normal nonmagical rope was summoned from a patch before, two normal nonmagical mastiffs now await the command of their new hapless owner.

​

With a couple of ten-days to kill in a relatively calm Port Nyanzaru before Krenko's big arena event, the Handy Hands spend time around town in their own personal ways...

​

*         *         *

Bertram:

Helping out with cataloging at the Chultan Museum of History for a bit of coin, it dawns on Bertram that old traps and other hazards tend to dwell in forgotten ruins. Maybe it's time to so back to school, so to speak.

​

The historian takes a training course in thieves' tools for a couple of weeks, knowing that it would greatly help in exploring. The course takes time though, and Bertram knows his companions are itching to seek adventure in the wilds soon. Luckily his instructor sells a "Thieves' Tools for Dummies" training manual. Excellent! It'll take some time, but this will allow him to study on his own time while traveling. Now to buy that expensive book before heading out of town...

​

*         *         *

Col:

Col profits a bit from working in the dinosaur pens, and as soon as gold is in hand it's spent on browsing book shops and private collections for whatever he can find on these "snake people". Who - or what - are the yuan-ti?

​

The findings were fascinating. Long ago dark gods taught an ancient human civilization rituals to mix their flesh with that of serpents, reshaping the them to be god-like in body and lacking the hindrances of emotion and morality. The yuan-ti exist in many forms, all of them a mixture of human and snakelike parts, in which with those that are more snakelike are higher in a caste system hierarchy. They can apparently transform through further ritual, though the rituals are very demanding.

​

Their evil civilization fell, but fragments of the old empire still exist. Mention of one such city-state deep in Chult is seen more than once: “Hisari”. Interestingly, the story of the yuan-ti is also tied to the legend of Ubtao. Long ago one of their dark gods was defeated and banished to another plane, and it was Ubtao’s duty to guard against its return. There is a long history of the yuan-ti spying on both Chultan cities and travelers, but it is unclear what their motivations are.

​

*         *         *

Krenko:

With a big event just around the corner and a Merchant Prince's promotion to live up to, it's time to train! Krenko enters a couple of small-time pit fights and the goblin holds his own against some tough opponents. Wagers are made, the bouts are had, and in the end Krenko finds himself 150 gold richer and more prepared for the main event. 

​

The paintings stolen from Wakanga's house are sold on the black market for another solid 100 gold. Sadly, the fence admits, cutting them out of their frames didn't make for the best resale value...

​

*         *         *

Arnie:

Arnie didn't profit much in doing handyman work around town... but that's just the way he likes it! It’s work full of thanks, and that’s enough for him. Memories of his old business in Baldur’s Gate leaves a lasting smile on his face (and Inspiration in his heart). Aiding around Malar’s Throat gains the notice of the nearby Temple of Tymora, where they say, “good luck always comes back around” (+1 Favor). In fixing a rusty back door of an herbalist’s shop he made quick friends with Pherb Weedeater, its eccentric substance-imbibing forest gnome owner (+1 friendly social contact).

 

It was a good way to spend a couple of ten-days! He couldn’t even complain when, after a long day of multiple repair jobs, it was found that someone had slipped a grateful payment into the handyman cleric’s fanny pack (+48 gold).

​

*         *         *

Peach:

Rumor has it that a certain familiar eladrin bard has been spotted around town! It appears that Peach has recently returned from her home in the Feywild. Well-honed in musical skill from her community's long celebration, she uses that skill to quickly earn a big profit performing at venues around Port Nyanzaru (+90 gold).

​

She just can't help but think back on the magic-infused engineering of the "geetars" she once saw in the Thundering Lizard. In a musical shop specializing in Lantan imports, she finds just the thing: A loud geetar that can ignite pyrotechnics. Rock on!

​

*         *         *

Winchton:

Meanwhile, the half-orc hunter has been working hard at hardly working. Ahh, some peace and quiet away from all the "death jungle" and "freaky snake people" business. His mind turns to his old hobby of leatherworking and collected hides.

​

To shape this jaculi skin into a cloak of invisibility would take the work of a master craftsman, but a cloak of camouflage may be possible. There's also the elastic nature of the animal... perhaps boots of striding and springing? The winter wolf hide could be useful in some cold enchanted clothing, but that may not help so much in a sweltering jungle. Hmm, what to craft...

​

Col and Bertram stare as Krenko follows the floating book into another room, but it's the tattered and torn rug creeping up the stairs that makes their eyes go wide. The animated carpet! It's back! Bertram closes himself and Col into the library but it's too late - the rug knows where they are. The knob turns, a corner of the rug creeps in... and just as the young historian is about to bring down his blade, a hand reaches out from underneath and feels his boot.

​

"Psst! Hey!", says the rug. "It's me! I felt pretty bad about not, you know, HELPING, so I sneaked in after you!"

​

Arnie stands up and emerges from under the "dead" rug, wearing it as a cape. The relieved druid and warlock share information (and an erotic cannibal novel) with Arnie before wondering why Krenko has been so silent. In the next room over, the goblin watches in silence as the book floats to an overstuffed chair in front of a fireplace. A hand reaches out to grab it. Moments before Krenko can ambush, a voice comes from the other side of the chair.

​

"You may help yourself to some tea, if you'd like."

​

Caught off guard he does exactly that, sitting in the other chair. The speaker is disconcerting: wrapped head to toe in detailed grey robes, face hidden behind a silver mask etched in swirling patterns, a woman sits calmly. Completely out of his element, Krenko awkwardly answers questions over tea as she watches his every move. The others enter. Pointed questions and an occasional invasive feeling in their minds give a strong sense that this masked woman is both keenly perceptive and a very powerful practitioner of the arcane. Tension abates when the mysterious house guest admits they are more amused than angry about the break-in. She has no intention of alerting the guards. In fact, she'd like to help.

​

The masked wizard's apparition leads Arnie and Bertram down the hall to the chambers belonging to Wakanga's mistresses. In a dresser, Bertram finds the evidence: a Harper medallion, matching the one that they had found along with the map many weeks ago. 'It looks like Wakanga's secret allies are not what Jobal believed', thinks the young historian.

 

The pair return and end an unconvincing conversation in which Krenko poorly tries to pass off Snake-Col as his familiar. With some trust established, introductions are finally made. She is Syndra Silvane, Sword Coast native, ally of the Harpers, guest to her friend Wakanga, and completely uninterested in the political games of this city's Merchant Princes.

 

The crew's brows furrow as they connect the dots. "Find S.S. in P.N.". The Harper badges. The map. Syndra Silvane was the intended contact! But what is this masked Harper up to? Still not entirely sure if she is an ally or enemy, the crew choose to remain silent about finding the map weeks before, and Syndra does not sense its presence.

​

The master suite's door is locked but Bertram stands ready with the scroll of knock. Syndra, amused by the amateur burgling, helps by casting a zone of silence over the end of the hall. Krenko gives his shot at lockpicking, but no luck. The young historian starts to recite the scroll and... the barbarian attacks the door, animating two swords mounted on the wall. Sound-less facepalms all around.

​

A battle in full silence plays out with wielder-less swords flying through the air. Spells fizzle without their spoken component, leading Arnie and Bertram to back out of the zone to cast but risk alerting the villa's guards. Col dives in and finally shifts out of snake form, damaging the blades with Krenko as the other two enter the now-unlocked master suite. 

​

The ornate bedroom is full of odd trinkets and art. With the swords defeated and cleaned up to avoid notice, valuables are looted. A locked safe is in the corner, but without anyone actually skilled at lockpicking it'll have to stay closed for now. An odd potted plant caresses Bertram's hand as he touches the leaves... weird. What draws the most interest is the desk along the wall that resembles a toothed maw. Opening it proves a trick as it shudders and growls in response. It's alive! It's a short debate of desk destruction until they notice that the living furniture starts to purr as its edges are stroked. The drawer is eased open as Krenko tickles the desk, cringing and making it very clear that he's had enough of this "magic" bullshit. 

​

Inside there's a journal, a bit more coin, and a strange small pouch with a leather mouth-like opening that the goblin is happy to grab. The journal is enlightening. Wakanga mentions his funding a new museum, the fact that many city guards are hired Zhentarim, a curious old spellbook that he is in possession of, the Harpers, an ailing old friend named Syndra who is coming to visit, and more. The crew debates placing the Ytepka Society coin... but is there anything actually incriminating here? Ultimately they decide not. Climbing down the master suite's patio to the garden below, the Handy Hands exit the same way that they entered and vanish into the night, leaving the masked mage and political intrigue behind.

​

*         *         *

​

The bells ring and the crowds gather. They're here! It's time for the monthly Dinosaur Races!

​

Our companions rise to crowded streets and make their way to a nearby official bookie station where a few bets are placed on the first race. There's three today: the Four-Legged, the Two-Legged, and the "Unchained" circuits. With the first race organizing Col and Krenko head up to the starting line at Goldenthrone, quickly dipping into an alleyway to emerge as their alter egos: the parasaurus Mountain Dew Baja Blast, and his rider The Dino Whisperer.

​

(DM: Erik (Bertram) and Jason (Arnie) are joined by special guest Terra to play as the other racers. Let's get it on!)

 

Dino-Col and Krenko meet quite the motley crew up at the racer's circle. There's Deadly Treasure ridden by Kwilgok, the tortle who hangs out at Crumbeard's bar. Juicy Stakes and Grumm, a gruff albino dwarf. Zongo the flatulent triceratops and dual riders, the human Faroul and the halfling Gondolo. And finally, famous racer Tiryki and his loyal mount Banana Candy. After a fierce round of introductions mingled with shit-talking, the racers line up. The horn sounds, and they're off!

​

The racers careen through the city streets where locals and visitors alike cheer on the sidelines. Banana Candy and Mountain Dew Baja Blast lead the pack towards the Temple of Savras, where priests give their blessings to passing riders. The road arcs downhill where Juicy Stakes and Zongo pull ahead, avoiding the water sprays from the Temple of Gond's clockwork fountain. With an unexpected flatulent burst of speed Zongo gains a large lead as the rest do their best avoid streamers and confetti falling from a bridge. 

​

A spooked swarm of flying lizards evens things out, putting most racers just within a few feet of each other as they barrel towards Old City. The course rounds Executioner's Run where a grumpy triceratops roams below... "The Dino Whisperer" attempts to push Tiryki into the pit, but no luck. Juicy Stakes rockets ahead right through the middle of the Grand Souk where rider Grumm utilizes a unique strategy, jumping off the exhausted Juicy Stakes and on to a fresh mount at a vendor's booth. The rest battle it out, with Dino-Col's Baja Blast weaving in and out of the others.

 

No other team can catch up to the new Not-So-Juicy Stakes. 1st place to the dwarf! Deadly Treasure comes in 2nd, and Banana Candy just barely beats Col and Krenko for 3rd place. Dang! As the Two-Legged race commences, the duo discuss strategy and work their way back to prepare for the "Unchained" circuit while Bertram and Arnie place new bets.

​

Wildshaping into the new dimetrodon known as Code Red, Dino-Col and "The Dino Whisperer" meet the new competition. What a mix! A batiri goblin named Blam rides Jungle Princess. The hobgoblin Kenjo rides Scarback the young tyrannosaur, on their last race before retiring. Batton Down the Hatches is - of course - ridden by the gnome smuggler Captain Ortimay, who high-fives Krenko over bar fights of old. Last but not least is Nasty Boy and his rider, the notorious Womford Ron. 

​

The route is known but the results are unexpected. As the racers tear through the streets past familiar temples and obstacles, each attempts dirty tricks in trying to slow down their competition. Nasty Boy and Batton Down the Hatches go at each other hard, while Jungle Princess alternates between bursting forward and faltering. The crowd cheers on Scarback, especially when Kenjo tries to knock Blam into Executioner's Run, but it seems like the old racer's stamina is fading. 

 

Going unnoticed much of the race, Code Red steadily works their way to the lead. Nasty Boy catches up in the Grand Souk, but Krenko retaliates by jumping off of Dino-Col and landing right behind Womford Ron. The goblin has no luck ousting the jockey, but it's enough of a distraction to keep a slight lead. With the finish line in sight Nasty Boy and Batton Down the Hatches surge ahead to respective 1st and 2nd places... with the steady Code Red coming in 3rd! Old Kenjo and Scarback, in dead last, finally decide "they're too old for this shit" and stop short of the finish line for a fish market snack.

 

The riders begrudgingly congratulate each other and winnings are collected. Dino Race after-parties for all!

​

*         *         *

​

Jobal listens intently to the recap of the "tour" of Wakanga's villa, giving little visual clue as to his opinions. The mention of a tamed mimic used as a desk does raise a slight smile. He asks a few questions, notably about Zhentarim as city guards (he says he’s against it, too), and Wakanga’s hoard of Chultan history books and maps (he prefers public access, not private hoarding). The Handy Hands leave out any mention of Syndra Silvane, and Jobal does not pry about unexpected guests.

 

He admits that he is no fan of Harpers being in Port Nyanzaru, but this is not an incriminating tie. He seems fine with the decision to not leave the Ytepka Society coin on Wakanga’s journal. If anything, Jobal is disappointed. No connections to the Zhentarim, the Flaming Fist, or even the evil yuan-ti.

​

Nevertheless, the job was done (plus a bit of petty thievery). An exclusive escort mission to re-supply a paladin fortification called Camp Vengeance is offered, once a ship arrives in the next few weeks with goods and personnel. Come time, an audience with all sanctioned jungle guides will be arranged, plus a hiring cost discount and two free canoes. A pouch of 25 gold per person is thrown in as a bonus. As for the Ytepka Society, the Prince says word of loyal deeds tend to spread...

 

​

(And with that, the Handy Hands get a much needed break from excitement and intrigue. When we next join our heroes it'll be two ten-days later, with the companions reconvening after enjoying some time on the town in their own ways.)

​

Sachiel, the angel-in-cleric-form, pulls the knives from his chest and hands them to a miffed Krenko, Arnie wasting no time on mending the celestial's damaged vest before they awkwardly exit to find Bertram. For the young historian it was a lot to take in. How could his previously-unknown angelic grandfather be here in Chult, trigger Bertram's aasimar heritage, yet claim to have no knowledge of these coincidences? It also didn't help that he is also now apparently glitching into the dreams of others, and that his sentient sword knows about it. Something to meditate on later when he has the time.

​

For now, though: it's recon time! If the Merchant Prince Wakanga is hiding something, the Handy Hands will soon see.

​

The idea to just simply ask locals where the Prince's home is pays off well. Much is learned of other Merchant Princes in the process: Jessamine is the Prince of herbs and poisons; Ifan is the Prince of beasts; Zhanthi is the Prince of gems and clothing (and Shago's mom); and Kwayothé is the Prince of alcohol, oils, and other essences. Wakanga's lavish villa sits on a hilltop cul-de-sac with a gated wall, lush gardens, and seemingly not too many guards. Some consideration is given to a deceptive daytime entry as repairmen, but the Handy Hands think the better of it to wait until evening and Jobal's aid.

​

There's some time to kill before the evening's plans. A stop at the Museum of Chultan History finds curator Zaidi setting up a new exhibit on an old plateau-top town called Mbala. She has no interest in Bertram's staff of bird calls, though across the street at Star Stuff the proprietor Xorn pays well for the magic item. Xorn's appraisal of Krenko's vest of levitation finally clues the goblin in on how to operate it with a bit of control. Col buys some slick brass-studded dinosaur leather armor at the Eye of Gruumsh, the trademark orcish flair shining through on spiked shoulder ridges. Meanwhile, the others stock up on loose-fitting typical Chultan clothing to look as incognito as possible later on.

​

Ever the seeker of knowledge, Bertram suggests that his friends finally visit a particular book shop. The smell of parchment and leather fills the interior. So does the hulking owner, sitting at a comically tiny desk and trying his best to look studious. 

​

"Oh. Ah, hey! HELLO! Welcome to VICTORIOUS SECRET! I'm the, uh... ogre-owner! Hi!", says the ogre.

​

Something is off, but he seems friendly enough. The young historian picks up a couple books on Chultan lore and history, rolling his eyes as he sees 'Jungle Cannibals: The Albino Dwarves of Chult, by Sir Nigel Farnsworth, PhD'. Oh, I've got to pick this one up for Arnie, thinks an amused Bertram. The ogre says that author was in town signing books just a month or two ago... wonder what ever happened to him? A few shelves over Col is having a hard time finding anything on were-tigers until Bertram makes sense of the classification system, and at least a title on lycanthropy is found. 

​

The over-eager owner can't help but frequently interrupt. "If ya need help reaching something, I can, ah, ogre-do it!" The ogre fesses up after he accidentally breaks the tiny desk. He's just Ogre Jeff, just playing a bit of pretend while the true owner is out on business, and he's positive his boss is going to kill him. Arnie's repair job welds the desk back together at a janky angle, the crew pays up, and quickly leaves before they can be implicated in any more of Ogre Jeff's clumsy ambition.

​

(DM: Ogre Jeff is a ridiculous recurring NPC in our campaigns. Welcome to Chult, Jeff!)

​

With a couple hours to spare it's back to the Thundering Lizard to rest up a bit and prep. While Col and Arnie catch naps, Krenko hangs out with fellow day-drinkers at the bar and hears some interesting rumors. It sounds like there's a dragon turtle in the Bay of Chult. Exciting!, thinks the goblin. There's also some place called Firefinger overrun by pterafolk? No."Terror"  folk. Ooh. More scary than exciting!, thinks the goblin. 

​

Alone, Bertram finally addresses Agamaya. The sentient sword professes that it observes dreams. Dreams, the stories of the living, the stories of the dead, the history of the lost... it's all vital and connected to her master, Bertram's warlock patron. 

​

"Who is she, Agamaya? From where does this power given to me come from?", asks Bertram.

 

"Why, she is the Lady, Mr. Frode.", explains the sword. "The Lady of Dreams has many names. A lingering thought to some, a queen to others. You did not find me, Mr. Frode. She found you. And it is her will that drew you to Chult. For now she only asks that you reveal the stories lost in this shrouded land." Of the glitching dreams, however, Agamaya is unable to clarify.

​

Again, it was much to take in. As Bertram considers his ties to not one but two cosmic forces, the sword materializes in the air and the stylized bird that makes up the hilt grows two glinting black orbs for eyes as it increases in ornate detail.

​

Aazon, Jobal's assistant, awaits at the bar. Krenko, Col, and Bertram emerge wearing drab clothing and camouflage makeup. Arnie, however, has a crisis of conscious. Breaking into someone's home doesn't exactly doesn't sound like 'helping'! The handyman cleric hangs back for now, wishing the rest well as they follow Aazon out into the dusk.

​​

*         *         *

​​

A figure matching the Merchant Prince Wakanga's description leaves the villa along with two lady escorts and a few personal guards and meet Jobal's entourage in the street. That's the signal. The secretary Aazon produces a grappling hook and blanket, getting the crew over the garden wall. A man of many talents, that one. Time to see what Wakanga is hiding.

​

The sound of the garden's fountain greets the appearance of the three burglars as rain starts to lightly fall, but is otherwise silent. The only door leads inside. Krenko scouts ahead to a communal area. Paintings and exotic potted plants decorate the room and the pair of bedrooms attached. Guest quarters it looks like, but unoccupied. 

​

Bertram peeks out to a hallwhay where the slight tingling of music that floats in the air and flickering torches give off light but no heat. Ah. Of course the Merchant Prince of magic is going to magically decorate, he thinks. Col shifts into a small and hopefully unnoticeable snake, slithering ahead to find a series of doors and large dual stairways that curve upward. Bertram halts a moment as he hears footsteps fading. Guards? Servants? Hard to say at this distance. A closet conveniently loaded full of spellcasting reagents provides the first small bounty of this questionably moral endeavor.

​

After exploring another guestroom and not finding much, Krenko creaks open a central doorway to find a lavish dining room where the remains of a meal for four is laid out. The luscious multicolored rug at the head of the table is too tempting to not touch... until it touches back. The rug strikes out like an angry sentient burrito wrap, muffling the goblin's shout as it coils around it's newest victim. 

 

Snake-Col and Bertram skirt by a spacious central chamber and are halfway up the stairs before they hear thumping from the dining room below. The serpent and the historian pantomime the best they can given that one is a legless reptile before Bertram rushes back down to quietly save his ally and avoid attracting guards. The scene is a mess, with a rolled rug flopping about as a panicked barbarian stabs his knives at it from inside. With a few more slices from Bertram the magical rug falls still and a strangled Krenko emerges for air. 

​

"Rug!", gasps Krenko as he whispers incredulously. "I was ambushed by a rug!"

​

"Well. Yes. Magic Prince, magic house!", Bertram whispers back. "Don't... touch... anything else."

​

After cleverly hiding the evidence of the shredded rug in a storage closet, the duo sneak upstairs to find Snake-Col opening the door to what looks like a sizable personal library. Still no signs of guards or servants nearby. Good. The trio head in and quietly close the doors behind them.

​

Maps and history books galore, all ripe for the reading! Though actually finding maps and history books is a bit of a feat as the shelves are utterly loaded with trashy romance novels. 'Carnal Cannibalism'. 'Crustaceans of Love'. '50 Undead Shades That Happen to be Grey'. 'Abyssal Passions: The Many Seductions of Graz'zt'. 'I Love You, Me: One Ettin's Tale of Erotic Awakening'. Bertram feels dirty just reading the titles as he browses for useful information. The search pays off when Col finds a small map revealing a location not already on their own, and Bertram locates a spell scroll hiding on the shelves.

​

A bored Krenko stealthily exits to explore a new hallway. Surely he can make better use of his time while those two search.

​

In the library, the sound of a sliding book turns heads. It wasn't them. A book slowly emerges from the shelf on its own, hovering in the air. Col and Bertram stare at it in silence. A moment passes before it floats out the door and down the hall. The druid and the warlock stick their heads out around the corner to see their goblin friend pausing before a new door while a book casually levitates past Krenko.

 

The door creaks open. The book floats in.

​

The Bedine tribesman frowns. Another dried-up oasis. He knew the Anauroch Desert like the back of his hand, but no one wandered this far out. Thirsty, hungry, and not permitted to return home, Colubryn Eryx risks edging closer to the forbidden lands to the northwest.  A blip of a figure appears in the corner of his vision. Otherwise, this dream is an old one.

​

The snake emerges from a burrow in the sand. A sun-scorched Col studies it from nearby. It's head pokes its head out again and stares. Mottled skin. Patterned. Just like Col's.  Col stares back. Another blip of a dark figure appears in the corner of Col's eye while a new feeling comes over him. An instinct never before explored. Col burrows into the sand. 

​

In the sand he waits, sheltered from the sun. Water is easier to preserve. Food occasionally comes by, and he darts out to grab passing prey just like the snake. He is the snake, and the snake is him. The next sand dune over - another blip. A human in dark clothing? Col pulls in to his sandy shelter to contemplate. Blip.

 

A man appears in the burrow with Col. A well-dressed young man stares back with confused golden eyes as the fledgling desert druid stares back. The sand parts at the burrows entrance. Both heads turn.

​

A large stuffed owlbear toy sits in the burrow's entryway.

​

Sweating profusely, Col, Bertram, and Winchton shoot upright in their beds.

​

*         *         *

​

Breakfast is a feast of leftovers, but it doesn't impede the flavor assuming one is okay with a ridiculous amount of cumin. Crumbeard munches his own bowl as the crew contemplates the day's possibilities. Bertram patiently educates Arnie on the general "badness" of undead necromancy while Col rolls his eyes and clinks his glass with Crumbeard's, enjoying a bit of morning cocktail. The fused dreams were disarming enough to the point that no one is willing to bring them up. Krenko requests fruit from the kitchen and eagerly runs outside to feed Esmerelda. With her master dead, who will take care of the old dinosaur? The goblin tends towards random action, but in this matter he is resolute: This dino needs a friend. 

​

"Letter for the uh...", the halfling courier hesitates. "The Fingers? The Handy Five? The, uh... Handy Hands! There it is!" The goblin gladiator studies the letter a bit before running in and passing it off to his slightly more literate and patient friends.

​

Drowsy faces perk up as Arnie reads the letter aloud. A private audience with a Merchant Prince, this very morning! It seems word had quickly spread of The Handy Hands' aid in yesterday's defenses, and one particular Merchant Prince in general wishes to meet. Most are excited to pursue some social mobility, but the half-orc hunter speaks up. Between the multiple near-death moments with the yuan-ti and the undead, Winchton and Lovely are in dire need of  a true vacation. The rest of the The Handy Hands pat their friend on the back, and with no delay they set off to explore a new tier of Port Nyanzaru.

​

(DM: Winchton and his player are taking a short hiatus. They'll be back soon, and welcomed with open arms!)

​

The hilltop streets of the Upper Market Ward are lined with a collection of large temples, governmental structures, and extravagantly wealthy homes. A city park with an elaborate gazebo sits at a junction. An arched bridge leads to a Temple of Sune standing offshore, an eye-catching reflective dome seemingly floating above the building. An old Temple of Savras has a massive domed roof tiled to resemble a gargantuan eyeball staring into the sky. Sights to be visited in the future, for sure.

​

Goldenthrone - the heart of city bureaucracy - is an old building of Amnian construction, hinting at the city's past. While hitching up Esmerelda the crew can't help but notice the nearby sign: "Dinosaur Race Signups". Ooh! Can't miss that later! 

​

The letter allows our friends to quickly bypass the line of commonfolk awaiting today's available Merchant Prince. Inside, diplomats and wealthy traders mingle in the corners of a large chamber where a solitary gold throne sits on a dais. A thin man and an imposing woman converse. The woman turns as our crew approaches and Krenko's eyes go wide. A muscular body, a scarred face framed by dreadlocks... the statue in front of the coliseum. It's her! It's Ekene-afa! The gladiator who became a Merchant Prince!

​

The Handy Hands are awestruck as Ekene-afa congratulates them on the evening's affairs. In particular she is impressed that a small goblin risked his life to save a young girl in Malar's Throat... the same slum that a young girl named Ekene-afa grew up many years before. She had heard that Krenko is to take part in the upcoming spectacle of the "Epic of Ch'gakare". The part of Ice Demon #5, wasn't it?

 

"How would you, my little friend, like to play the role of Ch'gakare himself?", says the Merchant Prince. Krenko nearly faints before he shouts in excitement.  Ekene-afa admits that many may not accept a goblin as playing a famous Chultan human, but she'll stand her ground. It's all performance anyway! The giant woman bids farewell, welcoming the rest of the party to  join her in her private booth for the coliseum's event as she heads out of the building.

​

The remaining Merchant Prince demurely engages. Jobal introduces himself with smooth and practiced etiquette. It was he who sent the letter, and Prince of Rural Tourism is keenly focused on a private audience. The presence of the yuan-ti and the undead correlation are intimately discussed, but ultimately few lines can be drawn at this point. What matters to Jobal more is that outside influences continue to undermine his city, and he seeks to discover who and why.

​

The crew is invited to a quiet chamber where Jobal truly gets down to business: He has been suspicious of the secret ties and schemes of another Merchant Prince - Wakanga, the Prince of Magic - for a while now, and he needs investigators. This would require a touch of uninvited entry into Wakanga's villa... but surely The Handy Hands, renowned for their ability to get into guarded locations and defend themselves if necessary, would be up to the task?

 

The morality of the situation is debated, with Bertram and Col wary of meddling in political games, but they decide that for now their interests align with Jobal's. The reward offer certainly does not hurt! Adventuring gear, jungle guide discounts, private meetings with guides, an offer of future exploration work, and of course whatever they can "discreetly acquire" from Wakanga's manor... it's all too tempting. A deal is struck. Should any evidence be found, Jobal requests that an iron coin bearing the head of a triceratops - the symbol of a Chultan loyalist organization called "The Ytepka Society", be placed alongside it for Wakanga to find. The Prince arranges the crew to meet with his assistant Aazon later this evening while Jobal himself invites Wakanga out for dinner. Leave is taken to deal with the commonfolk, and the crew sees themselves out.

​

The guard under the "Dinosaur Race Signups" banner is enthusiastic to see fresh faces, but where is their dinosaur? The old pack dinosaur Esmerelda won't do. The crew excuses themselves to a nearby alleyway, where human-Col enters and a brand new parasaur-Col emerges. It is only after the wild shape that they realize maybe a plan should be discussed. Passersby give a wide berth as a somewhat lunatic scene involving a dancing goblin, charades with a dinosaur, and a debate on the morality of betting and gambling unfolds ("I have no problem, my dad used to rig bets all the time!" states Arnie). It is decided! Krenko shall ride Col, and they shall sign up for the "Four Legged" circuit.

​

"Say, that's a beautiful parasurus! What's its name?", says the guard.

​

Without hesitation Krenko shouts from atop parasaur-Col. "Mountain Dew Baja Blast!"

​

"...Trained at the Cool Ranch in the Dorito Hills!", exclaims Arnie.

​

"...And they call me 'The Dinosaur Whisperer'!, adds Krenko.

​

The warlock historian cringes. The dinosaur-druid rolls his eyes in the most obvious way as his current form allows, grumbling while the guard fits him for a racing muzzle. But wait, adds the guard, didn't the party say they were interested in signing up for TWO races? That requires a second dinosaur. Back to the alleyway! Col chooses the new form of a dimetrodon, a squat but vicious sail-backed dinosaur they had encountered soon after the shipwreck. The morality debate briefly continues, but why not sign up twice? It betters the odds, right?

​

"A dimetrodon! You don't see many of those sign up. Who's this one?"

 

"CODE RED!", shouts The Dinosaur Whisperer, as his friends cringe again in unison.

 

"Well Dino Whisperer and Code Red, consider yourself signed up for the "Unchained" circuit!" Bertem sneaks a peek at the roster to eye the competition. A triceratops, a couple allosauruses, a stegosaurus, a hadrosaurus, another parasaurus, and something called a "trex". What's a trex? Krenko knows. It's a T-Rex. Like an allosaurus but bigger and meaner, though racers only ride the juvenile ones. Hmm. Stiff competition indeed.

​

Leaving Goldenthrone, the nearby building with the large mosaic eyeball dome is too tempting of an oddity to not explore. A Temple of Savras, notes Bertram. Interesting that a god of information would be worshiped in a city that is otherwise very mercantile. Inside the cavernous and echoing interior, an old Chultan man is seen arguing with a trio of individuals who stomp off once they see the Handy Hands approach. He introduces himself as Grandfather Zitembe, head priest of Savras. Zitembe states that he is able to channel the will of Savras to locate things, and the exiting trio was upset that he was not willing to help them find a person... someone named "Kimber"? 

​

Our crew's eyes go wide as Zitembe shrugs. Kimber! That's who the frost giants were after! The old priest states he is willing to locate things for people good of heart but it does cost a considerable donation. With business to attend to, he excuses himself and passes the party's inquiries off to a fellow cleric of Savras named Sachiel who is visiting from afar. Reverberating heels clack as a familiar man with a salt-and-pepper beard and a tweed jacket approaches.

​

"Hello, Junior!" Ugh. Bertram bristles. The young historian instantly turns aggressive and lays into his celestial grandfather. Sachiel, so he is called, deflects most questions in his typically flippant way, and the argument plays out. Bertram speaks of family and loyalty. Sachiel speaks of destiny and divine will. Neither grasps the other's perspective.

 

Curious new information does emerge, however. It appears Sachiel is indeed an angel in service to Savras. The neutral god is tied to keeping tabs on the yuan-ti and other jungle evils. Bertram's absentee father was the true chosen one but he long abandoned that path to philander his way across Faerun. And most surprisingly, despite being a servant to a god of information, Sachiel has absolutely no idea why his mortal grandson is in Chult. 

​

Frustrations boil over and Krenko stabs a kitchen knife into Sachiel. *Clink*, as it cuts through the tweed vest but is halted by immortal flesh. *Clink* as a second knife tries again. Sachiel sighs. "You know, that was my favorite vest...", mutters the angel. He touches Krenko's forehead and the goblin briefly sees the man as a blue-skinned golden-eyed being framed by feathered wings. A third attack with the magical frying pan swings wide as the celestial calmly steps back to remove the knives from his chest. Bertram has had enough and storms out of the temple.

​

*         *         *

​

The warlock historian catches his breath and calms himself on the city boulevard. A measured voice enters his mind.

​

"Mr. Frode?"

​

He sighs. "Yes, what is it, Agamaya?"

​

There is a hesitation as the sentient sword considers how to phrase the question. 

​

"In the burrow. Was that... a stuffed toy owlbear?"

​