WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

The legendary Ras Nsi - still alive yet suffering from the Death Curse rather than being the cause of it - patiently treats the Handy Hands' stream of questions. The big one comes first. What's the deal with this Acererak fellow?

​

Nsi obliges. The infamous Acererak destroyed the Trickster Gods and people of Omu well over a hundred years ago. After building the Tomb of the Nine Gods as a monument to his ego, the plane-hopping archlich left. Decades ago the yuan-ti relocated from Hisari to Omu yet did not run into Acererak until fairly recently. Around half a year ago he returned and made a deal with Ras Nsi: Guard the tomb, and in exchange Acererak would aid Ras Nsi in restoring Ubtao to Chult.

​

Obviously a lie, Ras Nsi now surmises. The lich duped him. And so now he aids the Handy Hands.

​

"I imagine this is familiar.", says Bertram, summoning Agamaya in the form of the axe of King Toloki, leader of the Eshowe.

​

A slight smile is seen on Ras Nsi's face. It's a bit hard to read the exiled bara but they think the point was made. Common enemies. Different goals, perhaps, but proof that the Handy Hands are against enemies of Ubtao. It's good enough for Nsi.

 

One can only take so much of a den of slithering cannibals, and Arnie's fireball hand is getting jittery. Time to leave. After avoiding a back passage to Nsi's pet hydra, a high Artus mistaking Col for his old friend Pontifax, Arnie creepily confiding in his magic dog, and Sekelok failing to shoulder-check Bertram, it's back out the way they came. The bloody ritual is dying down and the harem folk beckon, but it's decided that the front door is where they want to be.

​

"The priestess wishes to see you!", says the sniveling yuan-ti guarding the gate. Fine. As long as it's not far.

​

"Hey. Idea.", says Col as they walk. "Everyone hates each other. Flaming Fist, yuan-ti and Ras Nsi, Red Wizards... What if we just informed them all of each other, then tempted them all to Mezro? Problems solve themselves, right?"

​

"Yeah!", exclaims Peach. "Make a list! Put them on it! Kill them all!"

​

"What?", says a yuan-ti guard as they come to the high priestess' quarters. Nevermind, snake-man.

​

Fenthaza is charming. Sexy even, for a half-snake person. She seems like a route to subvert Ras Nsi in some way, but her subtext eventually comes out. The senior priestess of Dendar does not wish to aid Nsi - she seeks to end him. Hmm. An interesting idea. The gang privately debates but decide that the Death Curse is just a tad more pressing than a yuan-ti political coup. Maybe later, though. That tabaxi slave who is delivering snacks though... they're familiar...

​

It's Pottery Shard! 'Potsie'! The house musician of The Thundering Lizard who went missing months ago! The gang barters with Fenthaza for a bit until she simply gifts the tabaxi, considering it a down payment for future assistance. Agreeing to talk after this Death Curse business the gang leaves, spying a grander collection of slaves and future sacrifices that they full well know Fenthaza is in charge of.

​

"Col!", loud-whispers Peach. "Add Fenthaza to the list!"

​

"Huh?", says the same yuan-ti guard.

​

Fresh air! Light! Not a bloody sacrifice in sight! Pottery Shard is in tears as the Handy Hands lead him to the Trickster's Inn where Eku and all of their friends await. They're hardly a moment into introductions when the door is kicked in.

 

"WE GO TO AVENGE THE GODS!", yells Kek. The blood of his people as war paint. A headdress of bones and feathers. A story of the Trickster God Papazotl literally speaking to him during prayer. The grung shaman is ready to wreck this tomb!

​

It's time. The yuan-ti don't harbor the Soulmonger. It's somewhere deeper... darker... something schemed by an eternal lich and stashed away inside one of his creations. Six cubes in hand. Three await delivery. To The Tomb of the Nine Gods!

​

*         *         *

​

"They aren't here.", says Peach. "But there are a lot of tracks in three directions." The obsidian obelisk still gives them the creeps and is well avoided. The bard skywrites a message to let the Red Wizards before they commence investigation.

​

Not one entrance, but three! The main entrance within the giant bearded demon mouth ends in a wall with a skull design with slots in it. Slots big enough for cubes. But why only 8 slots? The tunnel to the right has statues for 8 out of 9 Trickster Gods, each opposite another yet Unkh the flail snail conspicuously missing. Huh. Judging by the fresh tracks it looks like the Red Wizards have been these ways. Looks like they've been experimenting with their cubes? 

​

"Peach, would you like all these cubes back?", calls Eku. The bard winces. Damn! So much for that little ruse. After some well deserved grief from Col and Bertram, she and Arnie move to test them out in the 8-slot wall. Something's off though.

​

"Hey let's follow the third direction of tracks. I think we're missing something.", says Peach. 

​

Shrieking bats fly out as Bertram disturbs what looks to be a third entrance obscured by foliage. Bones under foot, old and chewed by some predator. Down the dark tunnel though... another slotted wall, this one with 9 cube slots! Peach was right! 

​

"Hello. Are you there? You signaled?", calls a voice back near the obelisk. That's not Zagmira. Peeking through the weeds they do see the creepy half-old faced archmage, yet she's standing alongside exactly who they didn't want to see again: the elven lich Valindra Shadowmantle. Looks like the leader of the Thay expedition finally came in person.

​

Do they play along? Do they attack? Do they play it earnest as they did Nsi? Perhaps a bit of all three? Arnie and Bertram nod at each other. Kek, Col, and Peach all do their best to hide while the handyman and the historian step out and forward.

​

"Good. Good.", says Valindra after the past is caught up on. "Six cubes for you, three for my wizards, and now we come together as agreed to seek the Soulmonger. This, though..." She motions to the obelisk. "Is concerning."

​

"Oh? What do you know of Acererak?", asks Bertram.

​

"Acererak is what one would call, pardon my language - a motherfucker.", replies Valindra. "A lich far older and more powerful than most, yet one with nothing but spite for others. He toys with whole civilizations. Murders on a whim. Builds monuments to his own ego full of traps and riddles." She motions to the tomb's entrance.

​

"Archmage Zagmira? Give them the cubes... and assist them within." There's a slight balk from the Red Wizard before she silently nods and moves forward, handing the remaining three cubes to Arnie. There's hardly a moment to ponder entering the tomb with Zagmira in tow when another posse approaches. A slithering one.

​

"HANDY HANDS!", yells Sekelok. "My Ras commands me to assist you. And so I do."

​

Oh boy. Red Wizard AND yuan-ti 'allies'? Just as Arnie and Bertram think of how to reply, a certain hidden grung trains his giff pistol on Valindra, ready but calm. His finger tightens on the trigger. No. He didn't mean to. No no no. Somebody is controlling him! Just as Peach notices Kek's eyes glowing purple, a voice pops in Kek's mind.

​

"Let's have some fun, shall we?", says Granny Gristlegums with a witchy cackle. "HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!".

​

With a *bam*, chaos erupts.

​

Arnie and Bertram spin wildly. What is even happening?! The gunshot hardly phased Valindra and her Red Wizards are charging up for a counterattack with Eku, Cobbler, and the rest fully exposed. There's no time to think. Protect and defend! Peach is the first to run out of hiding and casts a mighty circle of power to ward off spells. Col, Bertram, and Dragonbait charge in to form a defensive line. Without a word the grung launches himself from the bushes and assaults Valindra, the rest seeing his glowing eyes and now understanding. The deal with Granny Gristlegums for "just a moment of your time"! The hag is in control! Oh boy. No choice but to fight! At quick glance the odds are terrible. Can the Handy Hands and their friends overcome a lich, her party, and a veteran group of snake-people? The yuan-ti look around. Is this even their fight?

​

"As our Ras decrees: ASSIST THE HANDY HANDS!", shouts Sekelok. Its sighs of relief from the gang as the yuan-ti slam into the Red Wizards in a flurry of swords and warlock spells. They may just have a chance!

​

Though caught off guard, the elven lich isn't going to make this easy. With a wave of the hand Bertram's eyes go black and he turns with rage towards Kek. It's dominated mind vs. dominated mind! Cobbler runs across to assist his mom just as a brutal cone of cold hits, Peach's aura thankfully reducing damage for most. Her retort of mass suggestion is unfortunately resisted by all but one Thayan, but time is bought for Arnie, Col, Artus, Dragonbait, Cobbler, and their newfound yuan-ti allies to respectively burn, bite, shoot, slash, and pounce at their enemies. One by one the Thayan guards fall, even one of the Red Wizards, but Valindra and Zagmira are relatively unhurt despite the madness.

​

"Come, Zagmira. We will revisit this issue another time.", says Valindra calmly. The lich extends her hand to the Red Wizard and in a swirl of energy... they're gone.

​

It's short work to deal with the remaining Thayan troops (utterly miffed that their boss teleported without them). Bertram and Kek continue to go toe to toe in a vicious fashion until the historian manages to shake off the mind control, and the grung shaman is rescued by Eku's restoration ability. 
 

"Aww, and I was JUST starting to enjoy this!", Kek hears, the despondent witch's voice fading from his mind.

​

So that happened. One minute you're about to enter a tomb. The next you've got dead wizards and new snake friends after shooting a lich in the face with a gun, then said lich gets away. Certainly that will have no consequences down the road.

​

Now about those entrances! The obvious 8-cube main entrance just feels off to Arnie, confirmed by signs of an acid trap. It gets Bertram thinking about the inscription on the obelisk. This Acererak likes traps and riddles, right?

​

"'The enemies oppose, one stands between them.'", he says, walking to the statues again. The Trickster God pairings... ah yes, they're rivals. And with all cubes present, the hidden Unkh statue emerges between! "In darkness it hides..."

​

"The partially hidden cave. That's it. That's the one we want.", states Col. Back they go, but Artus cuts them off on the way.

​

"Hey.", starts the adventurer. "Glad we could help get you here. But, ah, as you all know, D.B. and I have a quest of our own. Feels shitty to take off now, but we have an idea. What if we keep your big friends safe while you're down there?"

​

They knew this moment was coming. Peach in particular. The crew will be smaller for a while, but at least their motley companions will be in good hands. Bertram scratches Samryn's ears. Arnie gives an awkward hug to Manos' clawed fingers. And Peach hugs her son, trying her best not to choke up at the idea of not knowing if and when she'll see Cobbler again.

​

The bard's teleportation circle activates. Pottery Shard waves goodbye, following Artus and Dragonbait along with Cobbler, Samryn, and Manos as they vanish one-by-one into an astral swirl. To Mezro, they hope. It's suddenly much quieter.

​

Only the Tomb's door remains. Let's do this.

​

Arnie's quick to figure it out. The 9-cube wall must be Unkh in the middle slot, with each pair of rival Trickster Gods on opposite sides of the formation. The last cube is inserted. The huge stone wall groans and rises upward. A short stretch of tunnel lies beyond where a single large skull with an hourglass in its mouth sits in the far wall. The Handy Hands move in. The skull rotates. The hourglass' sand starts falling. A timer? For what?

​

The tunnel alights in colors. Circus music starts. And so does the narration.

​

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the TOMB OF ANNIHILATION! My name is Mr. Withers, and I will be your tomb guide today and for the rest of your meager, insignificant lives!"

​

They blink. What? The gang, Eku, Orvex, and Sekelok look at each other as the speech goes on. A warped theme park intro? A cheerful history lesson about murdering a civilization? Something about rebranding and being in the most capable hands in the deathtrap business? (DM: I had fun writing this one.) The timer runs out. The inner door starts to grind open.

​

"Ooh neat! This will be fun! I love carnivals!", exclaims Arnie.

​

"Col!", loud-whispers Peach. "Add Mr. Withers to the list!"

​

​

(DM: Stay tuned, dear readers! Life gets busy sometimes, and the Handy Hands are taking a
short break until schedules relax and D&D fits into life easily once again. See you in November!)

​

Trapped inside Nangnang's Shrine. Yuan-ti outside calling them out by name. Talk? Fight? Run? What to do?

​

"Who is it?", Peach sweetly calls out the door. The yuan-ti with the big sword out front looks slightly annoyed.

​

"This one is Sekelok. I serve my Ras.", the hulking snake-headed man calls back gruffly. "My Ras seeks an audience with the Handy Hands. Submit and come quietly!"

​

"Sucks-a-Lot. Right, right...". Peach turns to her friends. They might be able to get out of this with words. Arnie and Bertram consider stepping out to parlay but it's decided that Peach should keep up the rapport. Ripples in the water make it clear that the big guy didn't come alone. The bard keeps her distance in case things go south. After Sekelok makes it clear that he knows of their hidden allies across the street and that he'd happily fight if it were his choice, she decides to play it safe.

​

"Look, we'd love to meet but it was a long morning fighting your friends and we have some things to do. Can we meet you here tomorrow morning?", Peach asks (DM: ...with a 30+ Persuasion roll...).

​

Surprisingly, it works! Sekelok agrees, his forces pull back into view to slowly leave, and tensions reduce. Phew! Kek nods approvingly to Peach's earnestness. If Ras Nsi is truly here and wants to meet them... why not? There's clearly a piece of the puzzle they're not seeing and could use some insight. Besides, it's hard to resist a chance to meet a fallen paladin of legend. They've got almost a full day, though. What to do before then?

​

After sadly verifiying that all the wealth in Nangnang's Shrine is illusory, their friends return, and Orvex is nearly convinced that each shrine holds cube-shaped pancakes, Bertram casts tongues on Dragonbait and the gang talks plans. D.B. and Artus are all about the sneak attack option, but the rest are unsure. It's not off the table, at least. At the moment they need some recon. How have the Red Wizards been faring at the shrines in the southeast part of town?

​

One quick flying snake-Col scout patrol later, the gang heads out minus Kek. There's signs of death on the streets, but the conspicuous scarlet robed mages are easily found. With the aid of Bertram's beard chwinga they stealth around the royal palace's walls to near Obo'laka's Shrine where their "allies" are found. What's left of them, at least. The Thayan expedition is short two Red Wizards and a handful of guards. After some quick mage hand fun, the two parties reconnect.

​

Yuan-ti ambushes, Zagmira relates, but there's also some sort of hunter or assassin on the prowl down here killing both yuan-ti and her crew indiscriminately. Between them and shrine traps, the expedition leader has lost nearly half her forces. 

​

"You were sly before, but not convincing. You have been seeking these, yes?", the archmage says, waving her hand to create three stone cubes. Unkh's, Moa's, and Obo'laka's cubes. Damn! She knows. This forces them to play nice (or into a backstab, Peach thinks?), but also places 8 of 9 cubes collected and the last one firmly in the grips of the yuan-ti. "But why wait for tomorrow?", asks Zagmira. "I could make you look like yuan-ti now, to infiltrate and take what you deserve."

​

A tempting offer. Sneak in the back door as fake snake-people? Sounds great! Yet it could be as deadly as Artus and D.B.'s idea. They'll stick with the honest plan for now. The Red Wizards take their leave, Col makes another scouting run and sees the King of Feathers a bit closer than desired, and a path is made to meet back up with Kek.

​

Left to attend the dead and with thoughts of divine vengeance on his mind, the grung shaman is found fingerpainting in blood next to stacked corpses when they return to the shrine. Is this a funeral rite or preparations for war? Maybe both. Either way they leave Kek to it. There's half a day left and Arnie has plans for a shrine of his own... to The Trickster's Inn!

​

A broken chair repurposed here, an old table reassembled there... yes. This will do. Into the evening Arnie and Peach work to add a 10th shrine to Omu: one to Arnie's god, Lathander the Morning Lord. Hopefully the Trickster Gods don't take any offense. One of the inn's larger rooms is converted into a holy space, with even the roof is painted with the rising sun symbol of the handyman's god of helping others. Col returns from his birdwatching and Bertram from his flooded basement explorations to find Peach singing while Arnie blesses with light, and then it's done. They think. Looks good, at least.

 

Night comes and soon sleep, but not before planning the morning. Arnie has an idea for extrication but it'll only work for 6 or less. With Kek staying behind to ready himself, it's decided. Artus and Dragonbait shall come, Eku will guard Orvex, Cobbler, and the rest, and should chaos erupt Col will facilitate emergency communications with summoned animals.

 

Come morning they go to meet a legend. This better work.

​

*         *         *

​

They wait. Is Sekelok late? Eventually the large yuan-ti and his entourage come, demanding disarmament yet convinced to allow the Handy Hands to come as they are. The eladrin bard thinks of her dinosaur son and their sweet exchange that morning - a hug from his tiny little arms - and breathes a sigh of relief knowing that she stashed their 5 cubes with Eku rather than bring them along. Who knows what dangers await.

​

"So... do you feed your hands?", asks Arnie of a yuan-ti with snakes for arms.

​

"What?", they respond confused. "No. I do not feed my hands." Arnie sighs, a bit disappointed that a hand may be hungry.

​

It isn't exactly the royal palace they are led to. Instead of the empty palace ruins they head down a wide access tunnel where a bronze door decorated with coiled serpents awaits. Eerie green torchlight alights the sanctum, yet the musical sounds of festivities and scent of incense beckon from within. It's the screams of a blood sacrifice in the distance and nearby mutant freaks that draw the gang back to reality. A halfling with a snake for a neck! An elf with snake ears! Another with a choking mouthful of adders! Col can't help but wonder - is this what happens when yuan-ti rituals don't go as planned?

​

Deeper they go into the heart of it all. An unholy cathedral opens before the Handy Hands, five huge stone serpents dribbling blood from their mouths into wide bath-like basins that swarm with yuan-ti. Some mostly snake, some with only a few scales, all lost in a ritualistic orgy of blood and freshly served body parts all under the eye of a revelating priestess.

​

Arnie freezes. Oh no. No no no. The dwarves many months ago were just pretenders, even if it did spark a phobia. But here... here, it's the real thing! Cannibals! Evil snake cannibals everywhere! 

​

Peach and Bertram pull the handyman through the orgy best they can when the incense hits. The yuan-ti inhale deeply, but something is off. The Handy Hands all shake it off. But then they hear croaking moans behind. Dragonbait stares at Bertram in abject horror. Artus is convinced that Col is his long dead adventuring friend. Ho boy. But push through they do, doing their best to get out the chamber's other side, even if it takes Arnie jamming a blood-drenched woman's arms full of pancakes as a distraction. It's sweet relief when they finally make it through. But up ahead lies a singular throne.

​

It's him. Ras Nsi. Regal. Imposing. Staring at them with intelligent eyes under as he strokes a ghoul's head.

​

"Ahh. Handy Hands. Welcome.", he says with a slight smile. "It is good that you accepted my invitation. Many have failed where you currently succeed. Yet I can only guess your purpose. What brings you to Omu?"

​

Bertram opens his mouth. Peach goes to respond. But no, it's Arnie that beats them to the punch. The handyman goes full word salad, rambling barely coherently about failed vacations and pirate dinner theater and cannibals and drugs and, well... everything. Really quick. The other Handy Hands sigh and shake their heads.

​

"So then. Tell me your story. And I will tell you your sins."

​

Heck of a sanctimonious one-liner, but so they do. They speak of Artus (an old acquaintance of Nsi's), of yuan-ti interests, and of his familiarity with Peach's voice and his admiration of their foiling of his assassin Salida. They speak of Nsi's history, his ties to evil snake people, and of how the undead masses of Chult long since stopped following his commands after Mezro's ruin. They speak of nine shrines and magic stone cubes, yet when the Handy Hands make it known that they seek to stop the Death Curse, Ras Nsi's expression falters. The arrogance of a 4,000 year old leader fades.

​

"Sekelok.", says the exiled bara of Mezro. "Leave us."

​

The hulking yuan-ti and his entourage leave. Only the Handy Hands and Ras Nsi remain.

​

It's an odd conversational shift. Things quickly get frank on the subject of gods and allegiance, with Nsi speaking (seemingly truthfully?) of his undying love for Ubtao - a god he still desperately seeks to return to this world, even to the point of joining yuan-ti that worship Ubtao's immortal enemy Dendar the Night Serprent in attempt to subvert them. Col isn't exactly sold. Bertram neither. But when the name Acererak is brought up, the Ras grows even more somber.

​

"You are tools. We are all tools. I am a tool for others as well... and also a fool.", says the lordly figure. Then he vanishes.

​

A small summoning circle glows and a new yuan-ti appears... No. It's Ras Nsi. Though his lower half is that of a serpent, he's also frailer looking than his illusion. Dark skin gone pale, dry, and cracked. Bandages holding together his deteriorating skin.

​

Ras Nsi has the Death Curse.

​

There was suspicion about the boogeyman of Chult. The notions of undead armies, yuan-ti plots, a Soulmonger spreading a worldwide pandemic, and hiding in an old ruined city never did quite seem to fully connect. It's because they don't. Ras Nsi has his own plans, and his ambitions blinded him to the obvious.

​

"The destroyer of this city, Acererak, returned not long ago to make an offer. To help me restore Ubtao if I commanded my yuan-ti guard the cubes and prevent anyone from entering the Tomb of the Nine Gods.". His voice is rougher and frailer than his illusory double. "But now I know his promise to be false. I wither like all those who also have lived more than once. I cannot continue to help my god return if I am dead. Handy Hands.... here. This is yours."

​

From a belt pouch Ras Nsi produces the cube from Nangnang's Shrine, then hands it over.

​

Is he on their side? Is he just simply not standing in their way? There were hints that the political situation among the yuan-ti may be complex and limiting his actions. At least one thing is for sure: While far from peak form, Ras Nsi is every bit a real and imposing person, if even a strangely complicated and overzealous one who is half snake and dying.

​

"Great, another uncommitted ally...", whispers Peach, as the gang turns. The Handy Hands have a free pass to explore this fortress and temple - the Fane of the Night Serpent. But what route will they take? And what are THEIR ambitions?

​

"Hold the bird still!", says Eku.

​

It takes Col throwing his cloak over vulture-Kek to calm him before Eku can dive in with restorative energy. A moment later, curse removed, a once-again grung Kek looks around the Bath House and ponders a world where grung evolved to fly.

 

Rested up despite Peach looking a bit haggard from her apocalyptic nightmares, talk turns to daily strategy during Arnie's breakfast pancakes. Artus and Dragonbait report that the flooded stretch of city isn't terribly deep, but it's too exposed to continue the stealth strategy that has worked for so far. Leaving their larger companions behind is considered, but rejected. They'll go together towards Papazotl's Shrine, as one. Stealth be damned!

​

"Is there a Mamazotl?", asks Peach, in response to Kek telling of the intelligent but arrogant Trickster God.

​

"I hope so!", says Arnie. "Moms are always nicer than dads!"

​

Hard morning rain beats down as they dip toes into the northern flooded section of Omu. To Kek's enjoyment the current is far more lazy than it is closer towards the lava lake. Oversized crocodiles roaming the muddy waters keep their distance from the obvious threat, not too keen on approaching the intimidating posse. As the others, two engraved columns flank the walled entrance to Papazotl's Shrine, the courtyard flooded up until the main building's steps. The crew is in the process of setting up a defensive watch when the telltale sounds of bowstrings and arrows are followed by Artus' pained grunts.

​

"Ambush!", shouts Artus as he runs into view with a few arrows sticking out of him. "On guard!"

​

Archers on the roof, and serpentine shapes rapidly closing in just below the waters' surface from both sides... yuan-ti sneak attack! Damn! It was only a matter of time!

​

Thinking fast, Peach fey steps up to the shrine's roof to find four yuan-ti purebloods awaiting with bows and lets loose an up-ranked hold person that shuts two of them down. Kek follows, leaping right up to assault the archers while Arnie lifts off out of the water levitating like a Handyman Savior, summoning his mighty spiritual weapon wrench to smash unbelievers. Bertram gets in a couple hits just before the yuan-ti malisons lunge with their snake and half-snake forms, their flurry of poisonous bites and blows hitting the historian, Samryn, Dragonbait, and nearly laying Orvex flat.

​

Return fire! Dragonbait and Cobbler work together to defend while Artus shoots from above, Eku rushing in to heal Samryn before the tiger flees to a safer position. Manos the undead dragon hand "leaps" on to the closest malison to hilariously palm and grapple the surprised snake-person. Scorching rays fly from a floating Arnie and Kek drops an archer as Peach steps to the apex of the shrine above the battle, humming with bardic charisma.

​

"Run and tell your Ras Nasty that we're coming!", her voice booms, her words infused with the strong charms of her new mass suggestion ability. All but a single yuan-ti resist (DM: Dang! Resisting stuff is a specialty of theirs, though.), but at least there's one highly muffled call of "I'll run to my master!" that comes from inside Manos' fingers.

​

It's a mess on the ground as Bertram, Dragonbait, and Cobbler all trade blows with the mass of malisons. Samryn's revenge pounce misses his mark and his intended target shapeshifts to cut Orvex down, the Thayan scholar briefly falling below the water before Eku dives down to heal him. Artus gets some strong shots in, but these "half snake" yuan-ti are far hardier than the "mostly human" variety. There's a moment of concern. Then Peach lets loose.

​

*Ka-SHOOM!* A (high dice rolled) destructive wave blasts out from the bard, obliterating two of the archers, knocking three assailants prone, and severely hurting a sixth. Arnie floats up just in time to see Kek point blank shoot a survivor in the face with his flintlock gun, pistol whip a second to death, then with a "YAAAH!" dive off the roof to piledrive a malison next to Bertram and murder a third.

 

What a scene! The tide has turned!

​

Not about to let those two have all the fun, Bertram charges up with Shadowfell energy. After cutting down a malison barely holding on post-blast, he splashes forward to the one that had nearly killed both Samryn and Orvex and brings down the full force of his blade. Water surges outward, falling back in as the two halves of the malison fall outward (DM: Natural 20 + eldritch smite + his new rogue sneak attack to murder a malison in a single hit. It was gross.). Dragonbait kills the 4th, Manos releases the charmed one to "run and tell", and the last attempts to flee.

​

"Take it?", Artus says to Peach, his bow trained on the last one.

​

"Take it.", confirms Peach. One final *thwack* and the next-to-last ambusher falls in the floodwaters, the final one left alone to spread the story of how the Handy Hands are not to be messed with. Sure enough, it heads southwest towards Omu's grand palace ruins. Crocodiles deathroll the corpses that Kek and the others drag out to distract them with, then attention finally turns to their health and the shrine.

​

"So the snakes are gone?", asks Arnie. "Hey, no one got a snake in their boot, did they? I heard that's a thing."

​

One creeped out Dragonbait emptying his water-filled boots in search for snakes later, it's time for the shrine. A very thankful Orvex motions for Bertram to lead the way into this new archaeological mystery.

​

"Papazotl teaches us to bow before no one.", translates the historian. "So do we enter with pride? Arrogance?"

​

"Yeah!", says Arnie. "The Handy Hands bow before none!" One by one they enter Papazotl's shrine in their own ridiculous 'WWF wrestler entrance' fashion, boasting of how badass they are. And it works. They guess. Well. At least it didn't hurt. Giant stone doors opened within, the shrine's single darkened chamber confuses. Human statues with animal heads look towards an empty pedestal before a mosaic of Papazotl fighting Kubazan. Another inscription. A riddle, it seems.

​

"A shadow!", says Peach after translation. Sure enough, when Bertram lights Kek's lantern for him and all six statues cast shadows, one reveals an illusion hiding a narrow crawlspace. Yet it just ends in a wall with a strange tilework grid. It's not magical. The tiles don't move. There's no traps. What's the deal?

​

Eventually it comes to Kek. It's a cypher! Comparing the grid to the original inscribed riddle, the secret message within the riddle is found: 'COVER EYES'. And so they do! Nothing immediately happens when the eyes of all six statues are covered, but Peach realizes she can now 'bow before no one'. One quick bow later and Papazotl's cube emerges from its pedestal.

 

Five down, four to go! Not even yuan-ti can stop them!

​

Now where to? Upon Artus and DB's suggestion of a good place to catch a breather, the Handy Hands ford deeper waters over to an old ruined inn where the duo had rested a couple nights before. Though flooded at ground level, The Trickster's Inn's upper rooms are nice and secluded. Time for a late morning break to tend their wounds.

​

"Sorry.", says Kek to his recently re-summoned familiar. The horned frog gives him a glare, fully remembering Kek sacrificing it to the King of Feathers. "I did what I had to do, you know this." The frog frowns. "Look, you're alive. And if you really think about it, you SAVED us!" The demon-frog softens its expression and nods. The grung nods back.

​

While Bertram ponders yuan-ti society and physiology and their allies all bandage up, the others stay alert on watch. If anything, it's peaceful. Rain patters on the roof. Falling drops radiate hundreds of circles in the water outside the windows. Then the screams start. Distant screams, frog-like screams. In the direction as their next destination, Nangnang's Shrine.

​

This can't be good, but there's no avoiding it now. 

​

Half an hour later, they see the blood first. Wading cautiously towards the grung Trickster God's domain, streaks of red slowly flow through the flooded city streets. Rounding a corner, there's no mistaking the dozens of grung bodies floating in the water near Nangnang's Shrine.

​

"Eku? Artus? Dragonbait? Take the others and hide.", says Bertram, pointing to the next ruined city block to the south. Their allies nod. If this is another ambush, they're not putting their more vulnerable friends and dinosaur children at any more risk.

​

Bushes and trees grow from the roof of the squat shrine. One could see how it'd make a good home for a grung community, but their bodies now litter the steps and courtyard. Wounds are consistent with the same types of yuan-ti fangs and blades experienced earlier. This was a massacre.

​

Inside the bodies continue... yet treasure abounds! Chests heaped with coins, polished gems, strings of pearls, suits of ornate armor, stylized weapons. It's quite the hoard. In the back a door to the central chamber lies open, two gold grung lying unmoving against one door, one adult and one young. Poor Imbok. Saved from vegepygmies, only to die to yuan-ti. The other must be his father, this grung community's chief. They nearly made it to Nangnang's cube pedestal to protect it.

​

Yet the pedestal before them bears no cube. Instead, a note awaits. And its addressed to the Handy Hands.

​

This is wrong. Kek knows it. The gods are dead, their killer also wiping out their city of worshipers, the yuan-ti claiming dominion over this corpse of a town, and now those very abominations are killing the devout few and taunting his companions. He kneels and prays, reaching for a connection with his favored Trickster God.

​

"Do you seek vengeance?", asks Kek. Usually there's a delay. This time it hits him like a wall of force.

​

"YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!", screams Nangnang's voice in his head. Revenge. The gods desire revenge.

​

"Handy Hands!", comes a gruff voice from outside.

 

In the pouring rain a single snake-headed yuan-ti stands in view. A big one, giant greatsword on its shoulder.

​

"Surrender completely, and come!", it shouts into the shrine again. "Your Ras awaits!"

​

It's only dinner-time and this greenhouse seems a dubious place to rest. Why not press on while the King of Feathers is away? Onward to Wongo's Shrine!

​

It's hard to know what to make of it. The su-monster Trickster God is said to be violent and chaotic. Why does his shrine's inscription suggest that you be his friend? And why five entrances? Once they're past the gateway obelisks that eerily fill ears full of monkey shrieks, they shrug at the obvious next step. Five Hands. Five doorways. Why not!

​

Arnie prods with a 10-foot pole. No floor traps, it seems. He and a blade warded Kek move into their respective archways and... nothing. Col and Bertram hold back on their own private entrances while Peach takes the center, the eladrin's dancing lights gliding forward to illuminate a single large room. A monkey statue balances on its tail with all four limbs splayed. Wongo fights Moa on the rear wall's relief. Four stone animal heads protrude from the wall.

​

"Hey.", says the vulture head, surprising Peach a bit. It's Kek! Each head is more of a stationary stone "mask", with Kek and Arnie's tunnels ending at eye holes looking into the main chamber. "You see that?", Kek asks, referring to a beam of light he sees shining into the monkey statue's left hand. The bard shakes her head.

​

Kek's vulture, Arnie's zebra, and eventually a boar for Bertram and lion for Col all show beams of light shining onto different limbs of the monkey statue when eyeholes are peered through. Orvex comes in to translate the statue's plaque: 'Wongo's friend knows where to pour the water'. Four more inscriptions match the masks. Ah! It's a logic puzzle!

​

It takes some deliberation, but the Handy Hands come to an answer. The lion has no friends, and ate the zebra. The boar starved to death. That leaves the vulture! Bertram pours a good pint into the left hand... and *plink*, Wongo's cube appears on the statue's head. As easy as that! Yet as his mage hand stretches forth, a voice invades the historian's mind:

​

"Take the prize! Curse! Or die! DECIDE!", booms a manic voice. Wongo? "DECIDE NOW!"

​

"Um.", hesitates Bertram. Can't keep an evil monkey god waiting. "Curse.", he declares.

​

The giggle in his head is unstable at best. "Curse. Heehee heehee... CURSE!". The mage hand grabs the cube but nothing happens... until they turn to leave. A feeling like increasing air pressure is resisted by most, but Kek and Arnie aren't so lucky. In a *foomp* of energy, feathers, and coarse hair flying, where there stood a black grung is a big vulture wearing Kek's skull headdress and a striped zebra wearing Arnie's trademark fuzzy hat! It's all squawks and brays as the pair panic in their new bodies, Peach calming the zebra by petting it and Col simply throwing his cloak over the bird to shut it up.

​

(DM: Insert like 10 minutes of bird and horse jokes, puns, and wacky roleplay that I can't fully recall here!)

​

"Hey Eku?", Peach calls outside. "Would you mind coming in here a moment?"

​

Their guide is a bit shocked at the situation, but she thinks she can fix one of them. Only one per day, though! She has a bit of fun feeding zebra-Arnie until the group decides to de-curse the handyman first and figure out vulture-Kek later, but Peach just has to try something first. Polymorphed things revert when they "die", right? A violent moment later a housefly-Arnie is squished and reverts right back a zebra, Eku removes the zebra curse, and a traumatized Arnie looks at the bard.

​

"Peach! You SWATTED me!, cries Arnie. "I need a hug. GO GO MAGIC HELPER!"

​

"Why hello Arnie! I'll hug you, Arnie.", says his big black enchanted dog after the magic keyphrase summons it from the handyman's little onyx statue. And, upon request: "Why of course I'll give you a back rub, Arnie."

​

And so the scene in Wongo's Shrine ends. The vulture shakes its head and the rest all slowly leave, all really hoping that the image of Arnie laying prone while a creepy talking dog gives him a back massage isn't burned into their minds for long.

​

Where to next? After a quick stop for Peach to stash the fourth cube (DM: Nah. She doesn't.), it's off east. A quick flight up by vulture-Kek nets a few interesting details: The city's gargoyles don't seem to attack 'natural' flyers; there's an unexpected big black obelisk to the north; and someone is lurking on top of the city's bazaar. Well then. There's something to avoid. Unfortunately a re-route around the bazaar just gets an obvious Arnie seen from another angle by the roof lurker... who hoots at him. Hey, it's Artus! The adventurer waves them over to meet in a nearby alley.

 

"We think it's good to see you, but how do we know you are YOU?", asks Bertram. 

 

A fair point. Never know with snake-people and shady wizards around. Artus is convincing enough with his repeating of their recent time traveling together, and once a pecking vulture-Kek reveals a small dino bone that the grung had given to Artus to earlier, it's all good. Identities confirmed. So what's up around here? Artus and Dragonbait had been scouting. Kobolds live here, apparently! Curiously they caretake the nine shrines at night, which answers a few questions about upkeep.

​

"But there's something you really gotta see.", says Artus. "I think it answers some bigger questions y'all had. Follow me!"

​

It's a short trip. At the base of the northern cliffs there sits the black obelisk spotted earlier, draped in vines with an ominous screaming devil's mouth opening into a passageway beyond. A sickening feeling emanates from the obsidian pillar where a message is inscribed... not in old Omuan, but in Common:

​

Fear the night when your end came, your hope dried up,
and I, Acererak the Eternal, reaped your world and your nine pitiful gods.

​

This must be it. The Tomb of the Nine Gods. With time Bertram and the Handy Hands piece it together:

​

Omu was a powerful state that nearly made Chult a singular nation, but a tradition of slaves and war-like nature caused Ubtao to turn his back to the city long before he left the land. Slaves rebelled, the royalty reconstituted, and all found new hope in nine powerful yet fickle spirits that came to be worshipped as a pantheon. Now known as The Forbidden City, Omu thrived under their Trickster Gods... until an unknown disaster over a hundred years ago. And now the Handy Hands know. 

​

Acererak, an egomaniacal world-traveling archlich of dark renown, apparently descended upon the city in an evil fury. He murdered the Trickster Gods and slaughtered the city, apparently building this Tomb as a sick monument to himself.

​

It's a lot to take in, and they have a strong feeling the shrines' cubes have something to do with this location, but now doesn't seem the time to seek deeper answers within the devil's mouth. There's more cubes to find, an army of yuan-ti out there, and a freakishly huge mutant dinosaur on the prowl. Best come back later. By the way, where's Dragonbait?

​

In the dusk light the Handy Hands approach the city's bath house where the saurial was last known to be scouting, and sure enough, there he snores within. The five bath pools remain intact, but all seem just a bit off. Odd colors. Odd liquids, even.

​

"Oh boy, I sure could use a good soak after this long day!", says Arnie, the handyman is stripped to his skivvies and sliding in next to Dragonbait before anyone can stop him. A strong magical draw to fall asleep is pushed aside and the dinosaur-like warrior is slapped awake. Right. Enchanted sleepy pool. Maybe avoid that one.

​

The rest each have their quirks. The one with purplish-red liquid is actually full of wine... and quite good wine, according to Bertram's tastes! The ebon black pool radiates teleportation magic, which Peach eyes suspiciously. The seemingly normal pool of warm water gets impossibly deep when vulture-Kek tries to bathe in it. The slightly milky pool is a bit disconcerting. As Peach strips down and vanishes into the black pool, Col tests his toes in its hazy waters.

 

"Col, mm." It's the voice of his Chultan mentor, Qawasha. "Come. Come in..."

 

Nope. A hard nope for sure. The druid asks Bertram to give a try and the cackle of Granny Gristlegums is just as nope-tastic. By the time a polymorphed sparrow-Peach makes it back (DM: she was teleported atop a pillar across town), all decide it's a nice secure place to rest of the night.

​

"Rest", anyway. Bertram and Orvex bond over interests and Arnie swears he sees a bush moving on its own during the midnight hours, but it's a spotting of the same catlike eyes from the previous night by Col and Peach that intrigues most. An elderly but spry tabaxi approaches with permission.

​

She is Copper Bell, near the end of her days, seeking to please her god (an iteration of Ubtao, surmises Peach) by hunting the one and only King of Feathers. The druid and bard wish her best of luck with that. She is willing to trade info for hunting supplies, however, and some fine ykwlas net the Handy Hands some choice data points: The yuan-ti dwell under the Royal Palace, and Copper Bell knows right where their lair's two entrances are. Farewells said, the old tabaxi takes off into the night and all sleep soundly.

​

Except for Peach. Omu burns around her. Screams are heard all around. She is Moa the jaculi, and it is her duty to protect. Around a building she finds Shagambi and Obo'laka waiting. Unkh, Nangnang, and I'jin lie dead! They must stop the malevolent dead man to save the city! The trio of Trickster Gods pounce. A cackling Acererak turns and raises a hand.

​

All goes black. The eladrin bard awakens from her meditation in a hot sweat. But, at least, morning has come.
 

​

(Level 11 achieved! With Red Wizard friends, Ras Nsi in the shadows, and an impossibly evil
figure having a history with this cursed city, the search for the Soulmonger heats up!) 
 

The floor tiled with animal images in I'jin's Shrine is a clear puzzle. Prodding does nothing, nor does throwing rocks. There's no discernable pattern. What's the deal here? After a debate of whether or not Col's summons are temporarily existential or perhaps Schrödinger's Fey, Kek is finally the first to use himself as a test subject...

​

...And nothing happens. In fact, he gains a little shield of extra hit points! One by one they step forward, where the almiraj tiles seem to buff yet the other animal tiles apparently do nothing. All is fine until Bertram gets shot by darts, followed by Peach and Arnie though the bard's warding wind saves them from a lot of potential pain. Finally it clicks. 'Take the path least expected'! I'jin is reckless, and would not have a pattern. Avoid repeating symbols! And sure enough, taking a different symbol every time, the gang makes it across without further harm where a small labyrinth awaits. Where to go?

​

"Always turn left!", exclaims Arnie. And so they do. Until he almost walks into a trap. "Okay. Maybe almost always turn left."

​

Surprisingly the handyman's strategy gets them within a single right turn to a final chamber, and a few minutes later the Handy Hands emerge with another cube in hand. Three down, six to go!

​

"Wongo's Shrine is not far, but that god worries me.", says Kek. "I'jin is fickle, but Wongo solves problems with violence. We should be careful."

​

At least there's sights to see along the way to distract. The old bell tower across the street intrigues. A shining metal glints far above, the tower's doors carved with a scene of what looks like the bell allowing dinosaurs and humans to speak a common tongue. Worth checking out, right? Maybe its a tool to help peacefully deal with this 'King of Feathers' creature.

​

'Here lies Ubtao's Bell.', translates Orvex from a plaque within near a defaced statue of Chult's one true god, of course cutting off Bertram once again. 'A gift from the Father of Dinosaurs that allows his children to communicate in harmony.'

​

"Ya, ya, he sure left for a pack of cigarettes and didn't come back, didn't he.", Bertram deadpans, passively-aggressively butting the scribe out of the way. "Out of the way, I'm going up."

​

And up they go! Col and Bertram have a hard time of it when it comes skipping the rotting steps, the historian taking a break to nurse his wounds after a second fall from five stories up (ouch!). Making it the full seven stories up... what a view! The looming palace presumed to be full of yuan-ti, a good-sized bazaar and a public bath house beyond Wongo's Shrine, and not far away both a big greenhouse and a conspicuously overturned wagon.

 

After Peach flies down to help Bertram up, attention turns to the bell. Not at all decayed like the surrounding architecture - clearly magical. The temptation to ring it is very high, but what attention will it draw? Only one way to find out! Once Peach returns from telling Eku, Orvex, and their non-human friends to hide, all eyes turn to Arnie. He pulls the rope.

​

*GOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!*

​

It's deafening at point blank range, but the tone is warm and enchanting. The magic of the bell starts to-

​

*CRRK!* The bell's wooden yoke splits down the middle. Oh no.

​

The huge bell detaches and falls! Arnie leaps to float away using his Vest of Levitation while Bertram and Peach dive for the roof of the next building over, but Col isn't so lucky. The druid is caught in the bell's wake as it crushes downward, wood splinters flying as it crushes seven stories' worth of stairs below it. Fallen aside the bell within the tower's base, the druid looks up to an excited Kek who managed to ride it down. (DM: Dr. Strangelove, anyone?)

​

"Woo!", he exclaims. "That was...". He trails off when he sees the cracks spreading on the golden bell. Duck and cover!

 

*Ka-SHOOM!* The radiant explosion of magic barely misses Col as he mold earth's a hole in the rubble, Kek dodging behind a remaining section of stairs, but the tower isn't so lucky. It blows out with massive force and the entire tower collapses in a hail of stone, wood, plaster.

 

A massive cloud of dust and ash obscures all. Silence. Then coughing.

​

"Hey!", calls Peach into the whiteout conditions. "Y'all alive in there?" It takes a bit but the gang all find each other in the eerie quiet. Hurt, yes, but safe. Though before they have any time to collect their thoughts of who/what may have heard the bell and everything else, footsteps are heard. Heavy ones. Huge ones. Quick, to the nearest abandoned building! HIDE!

​

Thoom. Thoom. Thoom. The Handy Hands cower out of sight within the ruins as the silhouette of a monstrous creature enters the muted ash cloud. Switching his vision over to his familiar on the roof Kek witnesses a terrible yet magnificent animal: a horned dinosaur that makes an adult T-rex look like an adolescent, golden-orange plumage down its back. The King of Feathers in all his glory. And he's come to investigate the commotion in his domain.

​

It grunts and sniffs around as the gang profusely sweats and barely dares to breathe, the ash thankfully limiting the King's senses. It knows something is here, but can't find it. It turns to look elsewhere and... disappears? Despite the ash, Kek saw it plain as day. It vanished! Wait... no, there it is. Tracks appear in the snow-like ash over 50 feet away. And then start back.

​

With a deafening roar that has a strange buzzing component the King of Feathers reappears and stomps back, picking up the scent of Samryn the tiger. Hot breath rushes into the doorway over Bertram's neck... it can smell them, but can't see them. Just as the historian is about to make a drastic move there's a small *plop* sound as Kek's familiar flops on to the dinosaur's head then falls to the street. The King of Feathers' foot comes up and utterly crushes the familiar with a short snarl... it wasn't much, but it was just enough to break the creature's hunting focus. Frustrated, it turns and stomps south out of sight and sound, one final blast of the strange buzzing roar signaling its departure.

​

"That was incredible!", says Kek, remembering the beast from his vision back in Mezro.

​

"Incredibly terrifying!", replies Bertram.

​

An entire building up the street flickers. An illusion. When it drops the Handy Hands see that they were not the only ones hiding. Four tattooed mages in scarlet robes and a handful of guards. Red Wizards. After being hunted by an apparently enchanted dinosaur that can teleport and turn invisible and is maybe full of bees, it's a strangely welcome encounter.

​

"That was your doing, I presume?", asks the lead wizard, motioning to the collapsed bell tower. The gang nods. She's young in appearance, perhaps only 20 or so, yet half her tattooed face is that of an old woman's.

​

"Archmage Zagmira!", exclaims Orvex. "You survived the yuan-ti attack!"

​

After casual greetings and introductions, recent pasts are shared. Zagmira - second in command to Valindra Shadowmantle - tells of the yuan-ti ambush of their expedition and their travels in the city since. The Handy Hands speak of theirs in return. Yet, it doesn't go unnoticed, neither party makes any mention of shrines or cubes. When a sheepish Orvex is questioned by his Thayan superior the scribe thankfully doesn't throw the gang under wheel, but it's a close call. 

​

"No doubt you recall the shared interest that aligns us: The Soulmonger.", says Zagmira. Peach and Arnie "air lute" at their future band's name. The archmage raises a hairless eyebrow. There's not much trust, but they may as well team up.

 

Where to from here? Plans are made: The Handy Hands will continue in a north and east with Orvex along to assist, and the Red Wizards will head southeast, each looking for places a 'Soulmonger' may be. Plans are made to connect later, trinkets are exchanged to confirm identities in case of yuan-ti trickery, and the two parties head their separate ways. For now.

​

"Orville! Orbitz! Err, Oldvex!", Arnie calls to Orvex. "Let's go!"

​

Light rain starts as the gang moves forward, keenly watching their backs for the King of Feathers as they chat up Orvex about Thayan society along the way. He's a free citizen of Thay, hence a measure of respect from Zagmira, but there's no mistaking that wizards rule his homeland. Undead ones such as Valindra reign supreme, though the elven lich is noted to be more of a protégé of Thay's current leader rather than a Red Wizard or politician herself.

​

The upturned wagon along the way is old yet curiously is hung with fresh flower wreaths and circles of petals. It's of little surprise when a tiny masked figure materializes underneath. A chwinga! Arnie rips up a pancake to resemble a flower and gifts it in greeting, the little doll-like thing placing it with the other flowers before obsessing over Bertram's flowing beard. It happily climbs up per the historian's invitation and materializes into the hair. Well. Looks like Bertram has a Beard Chwinga now. There's worse fates.

​

The stone disc under the cart bears a royal decree of historical interest (Queen Napaka, Peach notes, was Mwaxanaré and Na's great-grandmother and the final ruler of Omu), but is of little use as a translation tool with Bertram and Orvex around. If anything it makes a neat rubbing for Kek. Getting a bit later in the day, it's on to the greenhouse to find some shelter. 

​

It's mostly quiet within the partially flooded building. Arnie and Peach are quick to search for herbal "remedies" and find some stimulants. A pair of curious vines growing from skulls that track movement are found by Col and Kek. Bertram notes the aggressive thorned plants to be avoided. Seems safe enough here for now otherwise.

​

Talk turns to their cubes. What if they're stolen? Taken in defeat? Given over while charmed? All fair concerns. This building is expansive and with enough hidden spots to secret them away. Perhaps this would be a good place to stash them?

​

All agree, and Peach does the honors. With the metaphorical 'hot potatoes' hidden away for now, the Handy Hands begin to plot their next steps towards Wongo's Shrine and beyond.

​

(DM: ...with none but Peach the wiser that she hid them on herself, not in the greenhouse. We'll see where that goes!)

​

"Abjuration magic. I'm sure of it.", says Bertram.

​

Protection magic? Negation? The stone cube from Shagambi's Shrine radiates it, whatever its purpose. 'The cubes are the key', as Peach says. They're not sure WHAT they're the key to, but she and Col are fairly positive they need to find more. It's a bit late to search out more shrines, but perhaps they can investigate the Red Wizards' camp before calling it a night? If anything, Arnie points out, after meeting Valindra the wizards are potential allies.

​

Through an overgrown city park, the ruined compound the Red Wizards established as a base is beyond... but something isn't right. Smoke. A smashed gate. A scene of slaughter within. A few robed corpses and a host of massacred sellswords litter the ground. A gruesome smoldering totem of mutated snake-human hybrids makes it clear that the Thayans did not win against an apparent yuan-ti ambush. But is anything left?

​

"Help...", comes a weak voice among the rubble. A survivor? Arnie found someone! With a bit of help from Col an injured man of around 50 years is freed. Orvex he calls himself, but is he is who he says?

​

"Peach! You have your new X-ray ring handy?", asks Arnie.

​

"Yeah!", she calls back. The eladrin bard lingers a bit too long on the man's more intimate parts, but she confirms: No hidden snaky or scaly bits. This fellow's 100% human and not a secret yuan-ti.

​

Kek, Arnie, and Eku providing a bit of healing, it's time for full introductions. He's Orvex Ocrammas, Thayan linguist and historian, hired and brought along by the Red Wizards to decipher Omu's mysteries. The yuan-ti ambushed 1 1/2 days ago and murdered most of the expedition. After some rest he'd be happy to share all he knows of the Forbidden City.

 

Debate is short. It's agreed. Back to a vacant manor safehouse they go. Though the distant and primal roar is more than a bit disconcerting. The King of Feathers, they think, and Orvex agrees. Some things are more terrifying than snake-people.

​

"You speak Grung.", Kek nods to Orvex. The linguist nods back, intrigued by a black grung. "Stay with us, translate for me, and I will keep you safe. But... I am watching you." Orvex understands and agrees. Trust is thin in the wilds of Chult.

​

Night comes, but when Peach closes her eyes it's not the meditative revelry of her people. No. It's the apocalyptic scene again, but this time a new perspective. A screaming woman runs with her child. Omu burns around her. The mother makes it close to Peach but withers into a husk, child too... and a robed figure cackles low from behind. The bard wakes with a start. And just in time for her watch.

​

Something watches her from outside the manor's grounds. Not stalking. Just watching. Green glinting eyes, humanoid in form with cat-like ears. A tabaxi? They clock each other for a while until the watcher leaves. She lets Arnie know for his watch, but the lurker doesn't return. No... Something far different keeps track of Arnie in the dark of night.

​

"Come watch the stars with me...", calls a soft voice. A woman lies outside on the road, watching the night sky.

​

The handyman feels compelled, but shakes his head. No! Not his thought! He wakes Peach and it happens again: Come, come enjoy the night... yet again no. Arnie knows better than that! When a swarm of adders slither into the manor's doorway to just stop and stare, he and Peach have a good idea of who they're dealing with. The yuan-ti have found them.

​

"Damned snakes!", shouts Peach, casting shatter to explode the nearby snakes and a soft laugh is heard. The woman stands and waves... with serpents for arms. Another appears. Then another, and another. And then, just when the duo are expecting a full-on attack, the silhouetted figures shift form into serpents and disappear into the ruins.

​

They're being watched. The snakes are not what they seem. But, at least for now, the snakes only toy with them.

​

*         *         *

​

There's one big perk of being a handyman cleric of skill: You can conjure pancakes every morning! Arnie's endless hotcakes jammed in pockets, sun rising, it's time for a full day of exploring this city's shrines and other destinations.

​

First it's back to the scene of the murder. A quick count of Red Wizard bodies leaves Orvex certain some of his expedition escaped, hopefully to elsewhere in Omu. Col finds a gilded statuette, but his excitement is tempered by realizing what the symbol was drawn in ash was next to the gruesome funeral pyre. A snake eating the sun. Dendar the Night Serpent, prophetic ender of the world. Seems our yuan-ti may be zealots, too.

​

"Hey. We been thinkin'... we're all a pretty darn big target. ", starts Artus, Dragonbait nodding along. "There's a lot of ground to cover here, and the two of us are pretty good at not getting noticed. How about we scout ahead?"

​

Makes sense. Smaller parties, less attention attracted! Whatever keeps yuan-ti off their path. Artus and D.B. head off into the undergrowth with plans made to recon later, then Orvex opens up. As long as the Handy Hands let him come along, he's very eager to share knowledge of all shrine locations in Omu. Why not? Onward! First up today - the shrine of Kubazan.

​

There's no mistaking the three-eyed stalk lurking in the pool before Kubazan's vine-draped shrine. A froghemoth. Of course. The kamadans at Shagambi's shrine did not approach when treated respectfully by Arnie last night. Perhaps Kek honoring with a prayer and incense will calm the great beast?

 

NOPE! The massive froghemoth lunges and Kek leaps atop an obelisk, but safety is brief when the monster's tentacles lash out to grab, reel, and deposit the black grung firmly in its mouth. Deja vu! Col's magic missiles hardly phase the thing and Arnie isn't too keen on harming a godly animal outside its own shrine, so what to do? Peach knows!

​

Polymorph! The tentacle-frog monster warps into a tiny regular-frog in a split second, propelling Kek out of its shrinking gut like a bullet to slam against the shrine's wall and unceremoniously slide down in pain. Well... it worked, at least. Angry little frog pinned under an Immovable Rod, it's on to the shrine. Like the first, this one has an inscription above the door.

​

Bertram translates. "'Kubazan urges us to-'"

​

"'-Tread without fear and to give back as much as we take!'", interrupts and exclaims Orvex.

​

The historian's eyes narrow at the Thayan scribe but he says nothing. A keyhole sits squarely on the huge stone door, but luckily the key is easy to find sitting within a statue in the froghemoth's pond. Inside on the far side of a singular room is a stone pedestal with a cube on top below a relief of a frog monster fighting a crane: Kubazan and Papazotl, no doubt. Wood beams carved into frog heads radiate along the walls and emerge vertically from the floor.

​

When mage hand can't make the cube budge, it's Peach who heads in. 'Tread without fear'? No problem! She nimbly hops from one wooden beam to another, each one quickly retreating into the floor to reveal deadly spikes below. Five beams and she's there. 'Give back as much as we take', the bard thinks. Ah! Yes! Arnie's pocket pancakes! She deftly grabs the cube and flops a flapjack on the pedestal, but the weight isn't enough! The stone door crashes down with a *slam*, the room fills with toxic gas, and Peach has just a moment of panic... before casting dimension door. 

​

"That was reckless.", Kek cautions the smiling eladrin bard who appeared outside in the pond. Reckless, but it worked!

​

Two cubes now. Let's find a third. While stealthing along a main boulevard all freeze a moment when they hear a huge distant roar. The King of Feathers hunts... but thankfully not nearby. Vegepygmies are seen sneaking their own way through, but on the way north what catches the eye is a campsite off the side of the road bearing a flag. A familiar yellow one.

​

The style of tents. The plain long yellow rectangle of a flag. Their old colleagues the Company of the Yellow Banner have been here! Quick allies when the crew was new to Port Nyanzaru, met again when traveling the River Shoshenstar, and later sent by Syndra Sylvane to investigate the Death Curse before she had lost contact and recruited the Handy Hands. Now, their camp lies empty, tents ripped and moldering, backpacks shredded. What happened here?

​

Col's suspicions are confirmed. Signs of violence, faded yuan-ti tracks. Another ambush. No bodies, though? A note found from the Company's leader, Lord Brixton, gives hope that maybe the Yellow Banner crew are alive somewhere and hiding near something fascinating they discovered. The words catch Arnie's ear, repeating what Col had read aloud.

​

"The Tomb of the Nine Gods?", he asks. "What's that?"

​

"They're dead.", Kek says flatly. He never shared his revelation from last evening. "The Trickster Gods are dead. I do not know how, why, or when, but they are dead. And they are probably buried there."

​

It's something to take in. The Omuans clearly worshiped the Trickster Gods as living deities. What happened? With lack of insight at the moment there's not much to do to than move on. I'jin's Shrine isn't far.

​

A decaying alchemy shop catches the gang's eye along the way. Maybe something remains? The storefront looks to have been looted many times over, but a mixing station and a few mysterious cloudy compounds attract Col and Kek. Why not! Three swirling mystery potions stocked for later, it's on to the shrine across the street where cracked monoliths flank the entrance and ferns have overtaken the courtyard... and an almiraj peeks from within.

​

"Hey little guy!", greets Arnie. "Pancake?" Surprisingly, the horned rabbit takes it! (DM: Inspiration!) Now... what's within? The door is slightly cracked open and - like the other shrines - an inscription is engraved above. Bertram opens his mouth.

​

"'I'jin teaches us to take the path least expected!'", blurts out Orvex.

"I... really had that, thanks...", mutters Bertram.

 

Inside a long floor. 8 rows of 4 tiles, each engraved with a repeating series of animals. Dart trap holes clearly line the walls. 'Take the path least expected', but what does the trickster I'jin mean? What path would he follow?

​

Arnie pulls on his Eyes of the Eagle goggles. Enhance. The sprawl of Omu lies below them, choked with vines and city parks gone wild yet dotted with numerous temples, markets, and more. An overflowing river, a chasm of molten lava, a palace's grounds... and well over a hundred gargoyles lining the city's canyon walls. No wonder 'Chwinga' warned against flying in.

​

Kurururu sneaks up to look down. An amphitheater, and just about the biggest dino nest he's ever seen. The gargoyles to his left and right don't attack but their visage is unsettling: each one a bearded devil locked in a silent scream. Arnie shudders. His Mezro dream! Best avoid these things. When the handyman explains the city gates he spotted far to the southwest, all agree it seems like a safe point of entry. After an hour travel and occasionally poking their heads out to look over the cliffs along the way, there's no mistaking distant movement below. They're not here alone. Not by a long shot.

​

"Maybe some of us shouldn't go in?", asks Peach, looking up at Cobbler and thinking of her son's safety.

​

"I would happily watch over him and the others.", says Eku, motioning towards Samryn and Manos. "But I feel it is my duty to protect ALL of you." And so it's decided. The Handy Hands and their allies move together into the Forbidden City.

​

Even decayed, the grand staircase descending into Omu has an emotional weight to it. Peach and Kurururu sneak ahead to the city gate's guard house and find a common camping spot... and a lot of graffiti, no doubt left by previous explorers:

​

"Beware the frog monster!"      "Who is Unkh?"       "The cubes are the key."

"ALL HAIL THE KING OF FEATHERS!"        "The snakes are not what they seem."

"Erik, I've gone in search of the nine shrines. - V."         "Fear the fangs of Ras Nsi!"

"Kubazan = Bravery. Shagambi = Wisdom. Moa = ???"

​

By the time the others are flagged over by Peach, Kurururu is hard at work drawing on the wall. Who is Unkh? Why Unkh is the flail snail Trickster God who considers all options, of course! But what of these others? Who is the King of Feathers? And what poor folk left these messages and never returned? Snail drawn, they descend further.

​

"This place is creepy, Mommy.", says Cobbler pensively.

​

"I know honey. Don't worry, stay close and we got ya.", comforts Peach. Her advance scouting finds no immediate threats and soon the gang is exploring barracks and an old agricultural building on the edge of town. The barracks is a bust for Arnie, Col, and Peach, the search for valuables only interrupted by Bertram and Kurururu rapidly running out of the storage building with animated vines lashing behind them within.

​

"Hey...", calls Artus. "You good?"

​

"Oh. Ya, ya. Fine.", replies Bertram as he dusts himself off then points over his shoulder. "Don't go in there."

​

No doubt the first places looted by any coming into this ruined city. Let's go further in! Some are eager to check out the raised boulevards to find some major destinations, but the curiosity of a lake of molten lava is very tempting to Arnie and he soon sways the rest. Descending the final overgrown steps Peach leads the gang into Omu proper...

​

... And sees a magnificent city of whitewashed buildings and sparkling glass domes. Families visit markets, children play in the street. In a blink, black smoke curls out from fires across the city, corpses litter the streets, and ghostly wraiths circle rooftops like vultures. Smoke coalesces into a sphere of utter darkness that expands out from the heart of the city, blotting out the sun. Peach raises her arms to shield herself - then she opens her eyes. It's gone. Ruined Omu stands before her.

​

"Whoa. Bad trip.", she says. Vision or not, it was unsettling. Something terrible happened to this city.

​

The heat increases as they move east to where a whole section of the city has collapsed into a lake of bubbling lava, gasses hissing from below... along with grung screams? Dancing vegepygmies come into view - a parade of sorts - rolling a tied-up young golden grung towards the lava! Do they intervene? Bertram and Peach silently shrug. 

​

"HEY! STOP!", shouts Arnie. The moldfolk don't heed. Okay, next plan. Make a scene.

​

Kurururu puts up his skull mask like a hat and throws his manta ray cloak over his shoulder to reveal his space-age pistol, Bertram and Peach glamouring him from behind and making Spaghetti Western sound effects. The vegepygmies turn in awe just as Arnie makes a little prestidigitation quake, and the crowd goes wild! The grung knows a religious fervor when he sees one and eggs them on by joining the dance, stopping only moments before the tied-up grung is tossed over the edge when Peach waving her hand at the intended sacrifice:

​

*Shoomp*! Polymorph! A trumpeting elephant explodes from its vine bindings and most vegepygmies flee in a panic, some even jumping even into the lava lake! Religious nuts... go figure. Elephant dispelled, the young grung chatters in its native tongue to his saviors, Bertram easing communication with tongues once Kurururu finds he can't even draw grung symbols.

​

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! More explorers! Thank you! I'm Imbok! My father-king will shower you with gold, I am sure!" The little golden grung stops to stare at Kurururu. "You are no grung color. Are you even grung?"

​

Huh. He'd sort of thought about it. Losing his identity as a red grung was something he had wished for, but did he wish to not be a grung at all? Kurururu can't even understand the language any more. Is he grung? He'll have to think about it.

​

Much and more is learned as the Handy Hands chat with Imbok, 130th son of King Yorb. There are indeed shrines to the Trickster Gods around the city, the closest ones being those of Shagambi, Moa, and Kubazan. His grung tribe lives near the shrine of Nangnang to the north. Vegepygmies appeared when a meteor hit this region of town and created the lava lake, which they worship. Yuan-ti dominate the city otherwise, hunting the grung for food... yet all bow before the King of Feathers: a plumed T-rex-like creature that is the undisputed apex predator of Omu. 

​

Then there's other adventurers. Imbok mentions ones bearing a yellow flag that were here last week. There's also a walled compound not far from here where ones in red robes were recently ambushed by snake people. Valindra's Red Wizards, no doubt. And with that and an offer of reward at Nangnang's shrine, the young grung runs off.

​

What of the other grung? The black one? Kurururu hesitates, then speaks.

​

"I am no longer Kurururu.", he declares. "I don't know if I am grung, but if I am, I am a grung of the unknown. Call me Kek."

​

And so Kek it is ('Slippy' to his friends!). The Handy Hands walk away from the edge of the lava lake after exploring a nearby home and overlook bridge, leaving behind both the heat and an amphibian's name sacrificed in place of a young princeling.

​

It's getting late in the day. Resting in plain sight seems risky. Perhaps an indoor shelter can be found? A manor not far away is a bust after spotting a nest of goblin-sized hornets, but the cozy mid-sized home next door seems nice. Dragonbait and Artus keep guard at the doorways, occasionally rolling eyes as the Handy Hands have their typical bizarre conversations while setting up camping gear.

​

It's a nice setup, but there's a few hours of daylight to kill. How about checking out Shagambi's Shrine the next block over?

​

A ruined shrine stands at the center of a small compound, tall monoliths depicting large jungle cats with serpents sprouting from their shoulders. Kamadans. There's no mistaking that this is the domain of Shagambi, the kamadan Trickster God of justice and wisdom. Flashing feline eyes in nearby underbrush as Arnie approaches make it clear that they are not alone.

​

"Here, kitty kitty!", Arnie tempts with some dried meat. No go. At least it seems the kamadans will leave them alone.

​

The huge stone door is engraved with the scene of a kamadan overseeing Omuan soldiers training with spears and shields. Engraved above: 'Shagambi teaches us to fight evil with honor'. A solid push by Peach assisted by Samryn and they're in.

​

Steps descend into a mossy chamber, four warrior statues in alcoves in the walls looming over what looks like a barred gladiator pit one level down. On the rear wall a giant kamadan fights an equally large grung: Shagambi fighting his enemy Nangnang no doubt, reasons Kurururu/Kek.

 

A stone pedestal lies in front of the mural, but its conspicuously empty. The four statues also look like they have weapons. Are they connected? Col and Bertram try scimitars and ykwlas in their hands, but it's no good. They need something else. Something unique. Perhaps the answer lies below in the gladiator pit? Arnie and Kek head downstairs to check it out as the others look down from above. The duo is giddy as they step on to the pit floor, then... *click*.

​

Something triggers. Four terra cotta soldiers bearing brass spears march into the room as the shrine's door slams shut, locking out all but Peach, Bertram, Kek, and Arnie. Fight on, Handy Hands!

​

They're durable and fast hitting, quickly jabbing their spears into Kek and Arnie, but clay can be broken! Bertram runs down to help as Kek erupts in a flurry of fists and Arnie pulls back, a shatter from above rocking the constructs as Peach cheers the others on. The warriors are brutal, but the Hands are no strangers to dishing it out. Rushing in to angle a max level cone of cold Bertram nearly takes out a couple of the animated statues, one finally shattering under Kek's fists, an in-tact brass spear falling to the floor. A unique spear that could arm another statue.

​

"The spears!", calls Bertram. "Collect the spears!"

​

Another shatter! More fists and axes! Arcs of searing rays! One nasty destructive wave! It takes a few rounds close quarters combat, lots of damage taken, and alternating heals on each other, but eventually four brass spears lie among hundreds of shards of broken terra cotta. The room goes quiet. The shrine's door creaks back open on its own.

​

"You all ready?", Bertram asks. All four synchronize. Will the alcove statues animate too? Four sears are put in the statue's hands and: *click*. But no aggression this time. The pedestal in front of Shagambi's mural begins to rotate, and an ornate stone cube spirals up from a secret hatch. It isn't trapped, and it's easily picked up.

​

Peach's eyes go wide. "The graffiti! 'The cubes are the key', remember?"

​

"Ya... but the key to what?", asks Bertram.

​

Kek wonders. Did they do good here? Are they supposed to take Shagambi's prize? With a cast of augury he asks the Trickster God directly - and after a bit of a delay comes the reply: Weal. It is good. Shagambi smiles on them.

​

But something doesn't sit right. He's always felt a delay when communing with his living gods. He's also always felt a disconnect when helping restless spirits find peace. It didn't make sense until now. Shagambi is not alive. Nor the others.

​

The Trickster Gods are dead.

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Previous entries have been moved to improve load times and your reading experience. Click below to find them!
 

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• Chapter 1: "A Shipwrecked Misadventure." - Entries 1 through 11.
  ​After a disastrous journey at sea, four travelers become necessary allies and eventually friends as they get their bearings in a beautiful but hostile land.​
   

• Chapter 2: "The Shining Jewel of Chult." - Entries 12 through 20.
  Chult’s great city of Port Nyanzaru hosts a wealth of possibilities, where new friends are gained as the fledgling adventuring party establishes themselves.
   

• Chapter 3: "Famous and Infamous." - Entries 21 through 27.
  Local fame leads to larger concerns, and the crew find themselves as notable figures involved in the city’s events and intrigues.
   

• Chapter 4: "The River Expedition." - Entries 28 through 38.
  The Handy Hands bravely set forth into the uncharted jungles of Chult on a mission... and this time, they have experience and planning on their sides.
   

• Chapter 5: "Ruins and Robots." - Entries 39 through 55.
  Rumors of forgotten temple ruins are just too good to pass up, and the goal of retrieving a dead wizard’s construct leads to odd encounters with the locals.
   

• Chapter 6: "Death and the City." - Entries 56 through 67.
  A return to Port Nyanzaru is both welcome and ominous, as evil plots and villains abound, and news of an escalating 'Death Curse' ravaging the land emerges.
   

• Chapter 7: "Salty Shenanigans." - Entries 68 through 77.
  As city-sponsored privateers and entrepreneurs of dubious skill, the Handy Hands take on nautical threats both piratical and supernatural.
   

• Chapter 8: "On the Trail of the Dead" - Entries 78 through 94.
  From somewhere in Chult, the Death Curse radiates. The Handy Hands follow clues and their instincts, leading them deep into the unknown…

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